


What He Doesn’t Remember

by cami_soul



Series: What He Doesn't Know [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Auror Harry Potter, Bottom Draco, Bottom Harry, Eventual Happy Ending, HP: EWE, Harry and Draco as parents, M/M, Memory Loss, Not Epilogue Compliant, Pining, Surrogacy, Switching, UST, tiny bit of praise kink at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-02-23 06:14:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13184064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cami_soul/pseuds/cami_soul
Summary: After a potions accident, Draco does not remember his happy life with Harry.  Harry must try and win his love all over again.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a continuation of my story from What He Doesn't Know. This takes place three years later. However, it is readable as a stand-alone story. The first chapter is very smutty, but then we will need to have a lot of plot before we get to more smut - so I front loaded some. ;) 
> 
> All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.

Waking slowly, Harry stretched and luxuriated in the cozy nest that was his bed. The sheets were crisp and smooth, the duvet fluffy and warm, and the warm weight of his husband’s body pressed against him was perfect. His arms tightened reflexively around Draco, pulling him closer still. This was their favorite way to sleep, Draco pulled half on top of him with his head pillowed on Harry’s chest and Harry’s arms tight around him. Draco always pouted if he let him get more than a few inches away while they slept. 

Harry opened his eyes to look lovingly down at the tousled blond hair tickling his cheek. Merlin, he loved this man! It had been three years since Draco had come into his room at St. Mungo’s and pretended to be his boyfriend, and those had been the happiest years of his life. When he had temporarily lost his memory, his attraction to Draco had been overwhelming, and it hadn’t taken them long to make the “pretend relationship” a real one. 

Now they were happily married and had turned Harry’s house into a home. Draco had slowly but relentlessly replaced the shabby furnishings with more stylish ones. They had opened up some of the small cramped rooms by tearing down walls. They had even created a large master suite that included a huge walk-in closet and luxuriously appointed master bath. Harry kept teasing Draco that he was trying to turn Grimmauld Place into Malfoy Manor. Draco’s standard reply was to scoff and say, “Not bloody likely!”

But Harry’s favorite room of all was the one just down the hall, that Draco had just finished decorating. The nursery was finally ready for their baby girl. Atria Lily would be here in only one more month. Hermione had offered to be their surrogate, and she was eight months pregnant. Hugo and Rose were both excited that their “cousin” was growing in their mom’s belly. Harry and Draco had conceived with a combination of Muggle medicine and Wizarding magic, therefore their daughter would have genes from both of her fathers. They were both planning to take some time off of work after the birth, and Draco had surprised Harry by deciding that he wanted to be a stay-at-home dad while Atria was young. 

Harry’s arms tightened around Draco again as he pictured his baby in the arms of his husband. Draco squirmed against him, causing his hips to rock against him. Draco was hard, and Harry liked it. He moved one hand down to his ass to rock him again. Draco, half-awake now, took up the rhythm and pushed his hard cock against Harry’s hip. Draco turned his head and mouthed slowly at his neck. “Harry,” he sighed in a breathy whisper.

“That’s it baby,” Harry encouraged. He slipped one hand up the back of Draco’s t-shirt to stroke his back, and the other inside his pajama bottoms to palm his ass. Draco’s ass was perfect in his hand, the skin was soft and silky and gently rounded. Harry stroked, letting the tips of his fingers lightly brush at the cleft. His own prick hardened and ached just from touching Draco.

“Aah,” Draco whined, as he tried to push back into the hand on his ass. Harry barely dipped his fingers to brush against his pucker. “Fucking tease, Potter,” he growled pushing up and glaring at Harry. Draco pushed one leg between Harry’s and pressed against his erection, and rubbed his own cock on Harry’s leg. 

“You have too many clothes on,” he pushed on Draco until he sat up, and then pulled his shirt off. Draco’s nipples pebbled when exposed to the cool morning air. “Kneel up,” he instructed and then when he did, he shoved Draco’s pajama pants down to his knees. His hard cock sprang up, obligingly, right in Harry’s face. Not one to miss an opportunity, he leaned forward and licked at the tip. He swirled his tongue around, licking up all of the moisture that had leaked. When he was satisfied he had gotten it all, he sucked the head into his mouth and laved at it some more with his tongue. He tightened his hand around Draco’s cock and stroked its length.

“Oh fuck, Harry! Please!” Draco begged. He tangled his fingers in Harry’s hair and tried to pull him forward. Harry resisted the pull and toyed with his slit, flicking the tip of his tongue inside. “Aah aah aah!” Draco wailed.

Harry pulled off and looked up at Draco. “Do you want to come like this?” he asked breathlessly, as he continued stroking his cock. He leaned down and licked the tip again to punctuate his question.

“No! No want . . . Oh, fuck! Want you inside me!” Draco growled as Harry continued to toy with his prick. 

“I was hoping you would say that,” Harry said as he reached up and pulled Draco down into a messy, passionate kiss. He rubbed his tongue along Draco’s as he thrust it in and out of his mouth, mimicking just how he would fuck him. “We need to get you naked!” he said as he pulled Draco’s pajama bottoms all the way off. When he was completely naked, Harry pulled Draco down, flat on his back. His blond hair fell across his face, his lips were red and puffy and his legs were sprawled open. Harry couldn’t get enough of just looking at him like this, so open and vulnerable to whatever Harry wanted to do to him. “You are so fucking gorgeous! What did I do to get so lucky?” Harry murmured. 

Draco lifted a hand and pulled his fingers across Harry’s rough jaw and over across his lips. He pushed the tip of one finger inside and Harry nipped at it. “Well, you are the savior of the wizarding world,” Draco drawled, “I guess that comes with some perks.” 

Harry pulled off his own shirt and then covered Draco’s body with his own. “I’ll show you some perks,” he rumbled into his mouth before kissing him thoroughly. Draco’s only response was to tighten his arms around him and press his hips up, as he kissed back desperately. Harry leaned back a bit and trailed his fingers between Draco’s legs. He skimmed along the length of his cock then gently cupped his balls. He dipped his fingers lower as he murmured a cleaning and lubricating spell. He moved his hand lower and then just rested his fingertips against Draco’s furled hole. He tapped his fingers lightly, causing Draco to moan and buck his hips against Harry’s fingers. 

“Oh! You’re a fucking tease, Potter! Give me something more,” Draco demanded. His face was flushed and his breath was starting to come in pants. Harry eased the tip of one finger inside. “More!” Draco panted, and grabbed Harry’s hand, trying to push him in farther. Harry resisted, still only pushing that fingertip slowly in and out. “Quit fucking around and start fucking me, Potter!” Draco demanded. 

Harry chuckled lowly and deliberately eased two fingers inside Draco, knowing that he liked a little burn with the stretch. Draco panted and pushed back on his fingers as Harry slowly opened him up. When Draco was taking three fingers easily, Harry pulled them free and leaned over to kiss him. “I want you ride me,” Harry said breathlessly, “Do you think you’re up for that?” 

“More to the point, are you up to it, Potter?” Draco asked with a smirk at Harry’s tented pajama bottoms. 

“Why don’t you come and find out, Malfoy?” He asked as he turned and lay back against the pillows. 

They stared at each other for a long, intense moment. Lust flared in both green and grey eyes. Draco broke the stare, rolling over and grasping the waistband of Harry’s pajamas. He lowered his head and trailed the tips of his hair along the bare skin that he exposed inch by inch. Harry moaned and twisted beneath the silky strands. Draco pulled the clothing all the way off, crawled back up his body, and knelt over Harry. He held out his hand for Harry to cast a wandless lube charm, and then used that to slick up Harry’s cock. 

“Not too much of that, or I won’t last,” Harry warned, as he thrust up into Draco’s hold. 

Draco rose up on his knees so he could position himself. He held onto Harry’s cock as he started to lower himself. Harry resisted the urge to grab onto his hips and thrust fiercely, not willing to risk hurting Draco. Instead he endured the delicious torture of Draco slowly lowering himself - wrapping Harry’s prick, inch by inch, in tight, slick, heat. 

When he was finally seated, Draco rested one hand next to Harry’s head and with the other he cupped his jaw and pulled him up for a kiss. Harry finally gave into the urge and grasped Draco’s hips, thrusting up as he held Draco firmly. “Harry!” Draco gasped, and whimpered into their kiss. He leaned back and started rocking his hips, pushing himself back and forth on Harry’s prick. 

“Fuck! Fuck yes, baby!” Harry gasped. “That’s it, ride me!” 

Draco kept up a string of wordless cries and moans as he worked himself on Harry’s cock. When Harry grabbed his cock and started stroking, Draco’s cries got louder and the rhythm of his hips grew erratic. 

Needing desperately to fuck his husband, in one swift move, Harry flipped them both over. Now able to use the leverage of his body weight, Harry pushed Draco’s legs up to rest on his shoulders and thrust roughly into him, setting a rapid pace. Draco responded by wrapping his arms tightly around Harry. “Yes, yes, oh fuck, yes!” Draco called out as he came. As the muscles in his ass clenched repeatedly around Harry’s prick, it triggered Harry’s own orgasm. They rocked and shuddered together for a few moments before Harry gently pulled his cock free and lowered Draco’s legs. He waved his hand cleaning their sticky bodies, and pulled the blankets back over them as Draco settled against his side once more. 

“You’ve wrecked me, Draco. How am I supposed to go into work and get anything done?” Harry smiled and tightened his arms. “Are you at St Mungo’s or the Ministry today?”

“Ministry. Sorting through some potions that were confiscated last week.” Draco leaned up on one elbow to look at Harry, “We could grab lunch if you want?”

“I want more than that, but I’ll have to be satisfied with lunch,” he pulled Draco down to kiss him senseless. 

When Draco broke away, they were both breathing heavily again. “Before I married you, someone should have warned me that you were insatiable!”

Draco tried to sit up, but Harry pulled him back down for another kiss. “I’m only this way with you, love,” Harry whispered in his ear.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry had been nearly an hour late for work this morning, but his idiotic smile hadn’t left his face for hours. It turned out he hadn’t been able to have lunch with Draco after all. Robards had pulled Harry into a strategy meeting, and he had had to send Draco a message canceling lunch. The other Aurors had ribbed him, pointing out what a sappy lovesick fool he was. But he took it with good grace, knowing it was all true. He adored his husband and couldn’t get enough of him!

He was eating a sandwich at his desk while he completed paperwork, when Robards called him and Ron back into his office. 

“You’re determined that I don’t have lunch today, aren’t you Gawain,” Harry joked as he sat down, but the grave expression on the other man’s face stopped Harry’s laughter. 

“Harry, there’s been a potions accident,” Robards stated grimly.

“Draco! Where is he?” Harry interrupted. Robards tried to ask Harry to calm down, but Harry lost his patience. “Where is he? Just fucking tell me!” Harry shouted at the head of MLE. 

Robards gave up on keeping Harry calm, “He’s at St. Mungo’s.” The words were barely out of his mouth before Harry was striding out of the office and down the corridor, Ron jogging to keep up with him.

“You’re in no shape to apparate, mate,” Ron pointed out as they moved quickly though the building. “Let me side-along you.” 

“Fine, fine. Whatever,” Harry replied his mind solely focused on reaching Draco as quickly as possible. Once they were outside, Ron apparated them to the front of St. Mungos. And then Harry was barreling inside, pushing his way carelessly through the crowd, heedless of the complaints and objections he left in his wake. 

He went straight to the potions floor, the one where Draco normally worked. He grabbed the first Mediwitch he saw. “Cassie, where’s Draco? Where do they have him?” he asked impatiently. 

“Harry,” she started to reply cautiously. She looked over to Ron as if seeking an ally, “Harry, we don’t know anything yet. He’s still being evaluated. Why don’t you head to the waiting-“

She was cut off when Harry grabbed her arm, “No, no! I need to see him! I have to be with him! Please!”

“Just for a minute?” Ron asked quietly, as he stood solidly behind his friend.

“The Healers will be pissed, but just for a minute,” Cassie motioned them forward, and led them through an exam room door.

Draco lay on the exam table, pale and unconscious. Two Healers were busy casting diagnostic spells, and a third was in the corner testing potions. Harry rushed over to his side and grabbed his hand. “Baby, what happened?” he whispered.

“Harry we can’t have you touching him while we run diagnostics,” a healer called Uilliam requested. “You can stay, you just have to move away.”

“Come on, mate,” Ron pulled him over to lean by the window, where they were out of the way.

Harry stared at Draco, putting all of his energy into willing him to wake up and smile at him. He had never been a very religious man, but he was willing to pray to any and all gods and goddesses if they could help save Draco. 

More Healers came into the room and, in hushed tones, conferred with the others. Ron put an arm around Harry and squeezed his shoulder. “He’s gonna’ make it, Harry. Draco is one of the toughest blokes I know.” Harry made no response, mired as he was in his own worry and panic. Ron seemed to understand this and just kept a supporting arm around Harry while they waited. 

After what could have been hours or minutes, Uilliam came over to Harry. “Our scans are all normal, Harry. We haven’t been able to reverse engineer all of the potions yet, Draco was by far our best at that, but when we do, that may give us more information.”

Harry interrupted impatiently, “Why is he unconscious? When will he wake? What the hell happened?”

Uilliam blew out a sigh, “I’m sorry Harry . . . we just don’t know. Our brain scans, show normal brain activity. His body could just be taking time to heal.” He reached out and held Harry’s hand, “We have our next best potions expert working on this. In the meantime, we will keep monitoring him. We’ll let you know if there are any changes.”

“I won’t be leaving,” Harry said as he pulled away from the Healer and went back to Draco’s side. “Ron, can you find me a chair? And let Narcissa know?” Harry grabbed Draco’s hand and threaded his fingers through his unresponsive ones. “I’ll stay until he wakes up!” he added firmly.

“No problem. I’m on it,” Ron tossed over his shoulder as he left the room. The healers left after him, deciding not to argue with Harry. 

When they were alone, Harry started talking softly, “Come on, Malfoy it’s time to wake up! You know you’re crap at being ill. And they’ve put you in one of those horrid hospital gowns you hate. It’s not your color at all. Come on, wake up and tell them ‘Malfoys won’t stand for this!’.” Harry’s voice got huskier and started to break, “Baby, you need to wake up now . . . I can’t do this. I can’t do any of this without you. Remember, our little girl is arriving soon and she needs her papa.” Harry’s voice dropped to a broken whisper, “I need you, Draco . . . you can’t leave me too. . .” Harry buried his head in Draco’s shoulder and sobbed.


	3. Chapter 3

They had been holding the bedside vigil for three days. Narcissa had come over from France immediately. Neither she nor Harry had left Draco’s bedside for more than a few brief minutes at a time. They used quick cleaning charms and transfigured their chairs for sleeping. Hermione and Ron took turns sitting with them, Ron staying the bulk of the time because Hermione tired easily in her ninth month of pregnancy. 

The Healers had been unable to find any cause for Draco’s coma, and were now considering whether a curse had been placed on any of the potions Draco had been examining. 

Their other friends came by frequently, bringing food, and magazines for Harry and Narcissa. Blaise and Ginny were there almost as much as Ron, and Pansy had come by at least once a day. Andromeda had also come, leaving Teddy with Molly, and spent almost all of the daylight hours supporting her sister. 

Even with all of the company coming and going, when Draco finally opened his eyes, it was only Harry in the room. Andromeda had taken Narcissa down to get a quick cup of tea and Ron and Hermione had left to have dinner with their children. 

Harry had been halfheartedly looking through a Quidditch magazine, when a slight movement from the hospital bed caught his eye. He threw down the magazine and leaned closer, afraid his eyes were playing tricks on him. 

Draco’s head turned restlessly and he groaned as he opened his eyes. “Pahh,” he croaked. “Water,” he whispered, holding his hand out in demand. Harry handed him the closest thing he could find, a cold cup of tea. Draco drank deeply and then made a face, “Couldn’t cast a warming charm, Potter?” 

“Merlin! I am so happy to see you,” Harry said with a giant grin. “I mean, er, you awake, that is. See you awake . . .” Harry trailed off as he moved to hug Draco close to him. 

“What the hell, Potter?” Draco pulled away and batted Harry’s hands away. “What in Salazar’s name, are you doing?” Draco sat up in bed, and looked down at what he was wearing, “What is happening? This isn’t the hospital wing. Where am I, Potter? And why are you here? What have you done to me?”

“Draco . . .” Harry started to reach out a hand toward his husband, but let it fall when Draco crossed his arms and gave him a cold look.   
Just then, Narcissa returned to the hospital room. “Mother! Thank Merlin!” Draco said. “What has happened? Why am I here? Potter won’t tell me anything.”

“But, that’s not, I didn’t, he wouldn’t . . .,” Harry sputtered.

“You are in St. Mungos, darling. You had a potions accident,” Narcissa’s tone was calm but she threw worried looks to Harry when Draco looked down at his hospital gown again. 

“Where’s Father? Am I under arrest? Why am I not at Hogwarts?” Draco asked all in a rush. “Is Father at the Manor, with,” he looked pointedly at Harry, “with our guest?” 

“Draco darling, calm yourself. You’re just a bit confused. Harry dear, why don’t you get a Healer?” Narcissa suggested as she moved over to Draco’s side. 

Harry agreed that this was a good idea. As he reached the door he heard Draco accuse, “Did you just call Harry Potter, dear?” 

Harry stopped the first Healer he could find, “Draco’s awake, but something’s gone wrong!” Harry returned to the room with the Healer in tow. Draco and Narcissa were whispering furiously, but broke apart when they arrived. 

Narcissa turned stricken eyes on Harry, but directed her comments at the Healer, “The last thing he remembers is being at Hogwarts during his sixth year.” 

“Harry, Mrs. Malfoy, why don’t you wait outside while I check over Draco,” began the Healer.

Draco had an affronted look at the Healer’s use of his first name, “Obviously I have missed something important. And why the fuck are you still here, Potter?” Draco glared at Harry, “Did you have something to do with this? Is that why you’re here? You’re feeling guilty? Not content to just flay me open and have me bleed to death . . .” Draco rubbed one hand across his chest.

“No! No that’s not . . . that’s not what happened! Draco, I . . .” the Healer cut Harry off before he could continue.

“In cases of memory loss, its best to let the patient regain their memories on their own,” the Healer warned. 

Harry felt pain lancing through his chest. Draco didn’t remember him as anything other than a bitter rival. All of the love and joy from the past three years had evaporated. Was it possible that even though Draco had survived, that he would lose him anyway? Harry twisted his wedding ring, round and round his finger. Their rings were platinum snakes. Harry’s snake had grey gems for eyes, and Draco’s green. Draco had designed the rings himself, persuading Harry that the snake symbolized both of them because of Harry’s Parseltongue ability. Harry adored his ring and never took it off, but he did tend to play with it when he was anxious. 

Draco’s gaze flew from Harry, to his mother, to the Healer, and back to Harry twisting his ring. “Just what is it you’re not telling me?” Draco demanded. When he received no response from the others, Draco looked at Harry’s left hand again and then he looked down at his own hand. “No! That’s impossible,” he gasped. “What in Hades, is going on here?”

Unable to stop himself, Harry moved next to the bed. He lifted a hand to brush at his cheek, but Draco flinched away from him. “Draco, we’re married,” he said softly. “I’m your husband.” Harry felt his heart breaking while he waited for Draco’s response. 

During the silence that greeted Harry’s revelation, the door to the hospital room swung open and Hermione walked through. When she saw that Draco was awake and sitting up, she rushed over to his side. “Draco! Thank God you’re awake!” she said, throwing her arms around him and getting as close as her big belly would allow. “The baby will be so happy to hear her Papa’s voice again!” 

Draco pushed Hermione away from him gently, “Merlin’s bones! Please don’t tell me I’m married to you too!”


	4. Chapter 4

Draco was released from St. Mungos the next day, but he flatly refused to return to Grimmauld place with Harry. Narcissa had decided to take a suite at the Wailing Wraith, in Diagon Ally, and have Draco stay with her. She and Harry both had high hopes that Draco’s memories would return to him naturally. Draco was behaving just like the teenager his memory believed him to be, alternately pouting and acting stroppy.

Harry tried to be understanding but he was hurt when Draco refused to return home with him, and he did some pouting of his own. After three days of silence between the two men, Narcissa sent Harry an owl with an invitation to join her and Draco for lunch in their suite. So it was that Harry found himself with damp palms and rapid heartbeat, standing at their hotel door. He scrubbed his hands over the sides of his jeans to dry them. As he did this, he questioned his clothing choice again. 

He had stood in his walk-in closet for over an hour trying to decide what to wear. Being married to Draco had improved the majority of his wardrobe but had done nothing for his innate lack of fashion sense. Without Draco there to guide him, Harry had no idea what went with what and so he had fallen back on his default outfit of jeans, a t-shirt, and trainers. Albeit, they were all of a much higher quality than he had worn prior to becoming involved with Draco. Now he was regretting his choice and wondered if he should have dressed up more, to try and impress Draco. “Fuck that,” he told himself, “Draco had fallen in love with me when I dressed worse than this.”

Harry had just lifted his hand to knock when the door swung open. “Going to stand there all day Potter, or were you planning to join us,” Draco said snidely as he stepped back from the door. Harry’s eyes ate up the sight of Draco. He was wearing a crisp black shirt with black trousers and a green and black striped tie (not quite his house tie). He looked amazing. The dark clothing was a perfect foil for his blond hair and ice grey eyes. He looked amazing and entirely unapproachable. Harry’s heart sank.

“Ah, yeah, I uh, er . . . you know, I,” Harry floundered.

Draco cut him off, “Mother is waiting, Potter.” He stepped back and motioned with his arm toward the interior of the room. 

Harry moved through the doorway, bringing himself very close to Draco. He took a deep breath and clenched his hands to prevent himself from taking the other man into his arms and kissing him senseless. No matter how strong his desire, he knew Draco would probably just hex him if he tried that. Instead, when he drew parallel to him, he leaned toward him and whispered, “It’s good to see you Draco.” Without waiting for a response, Harry continued into the spacious room and toward Narcissa, whom he spotted standing over by the windows. 

Narcissa held out her hands to Harry, and when he placed his hands into her, she squeezed them tightly. “I’m pleased to see you, Harry. Thank you for joining us,” she said graciously. Draco lingered at the door for a few moments before moving to join them. Silence descended as the two men stared at each other. Into the awkward moment, Narcissa suggested, “Why don’t we proceed with luncheon.” She gestured to the table, nearby, that was already set with linens and crystal. 

“Of course, mother,” Draco responded as he moved toward a chair and pulled it out for his mother. Harry stood there unsure, as usual, about the etiquette required in this situation. Draco seated himself next to his mother, “Potter, If you are waiting for me to pull out your chair too, you will be standing a very long time.” 

Harry hurriedly sat down in the chair next to Draco’s. “I wasn’t waiting for that,” he mumbled under his breath. Once they were all seated, the food magically appeared on their plates just as it had during the feasts at Hogwarts. He could only identify about half of the things on his plate, but he refused to let that show and gamely picked up his fork. 

Draco lifted a wine bottle and gestured toward Harry, “Wine, Potter? Or would you prefer pumpkin juice?” Draco added sarcastically. 

Harry looked over at Draco’s smirking face. He truly wished he could have the pumpkin juice or a nice ale, but he refused to give Draco the satisfaction of asking for it. Instead, he held up his glass toward Draco. “Wine, of course, Draco.” When his glass was poured, Harry took a sip and struggled to hide his grimace at tasting the tart liquid. 

Harry was halfway through his meal, which turned out to be delicious but still unidentifiable, when Draco broke the silence. “What is it you do exactly?” Draco asked in a polite but remote tone.

“What do you mean? I uh . . . I do a lot,” Harry answered. 

“I mean, for a living,” Draco explained in exasperation. “Unless maybe you don’t. I suppose you’re rich enough not to work.”

“No. No, I uh, do. Work I mean . . . I’m an Auror,” he said. 

“Not just an Auror,” Narcissa broke in, “He’s the Head of the Auror department! The youngest ever!” 

Draco looked at Harry intently and then tipped his glass at him, “Congratulations, Potter. That seems to be a habit of yours.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, puzzled by the comment. 

“Well . . . you were the youngest seeker at Hogwarts,” Draco said, bitterness creeping into his voice. 

Silence descended once more over the table. Narcissa one again smoothed over the awkward moment. “If you’re both finished, let’s adjourn to the sitting area?” They moved across the room and Harry settled himself into an armchair facing the settee, where Draco and his mother were sitting. They had just sat down when an owl arrived and Draco rose to let it in the window. He fed the owl a treat and untied the parchment from its leg.  
“This is for you, mother,” he said as he handed it to Narcissa. 

She unrolled the parchment and read through the contents. “I’m sorry but I must respond to this right away. Please excuse me,” she said as she rose. “I shouldn’t be too long.” Then she went into the adjoining room and shut the door.

Draco shifted uneasily before sitting back down on the settee. He blew out a breath and Harry notice that it ruffled his bangs. Draco looked down at his hands as began to speak. “Mother has told me that you . . .” Draco took a deep breath before he continued, “that you defeated the Dark Lord.” Draco looked up into Harry’s eyes, “That was a good thing.”

“Yeah,” he answered, too caught up in the intensity of Draco’s stare to give a more coherent response.

“Were we friends then?” Draco asked. He broke their gaze and looked back down at his hands that were clasped loosely in front of him. 

Harry gave a short bark of laughter, “Ha! Merlin no! Not even close.” Harry realized he really didn’t want to say anymore. He didn’t want to dwell on how the younger Draco had helped the Death Eaters enter the castle and kill his friends. 

They sat in silence, each man caught up in his own thoughts until Draco spoke again, “Then how did we . . . I mean, how are we . . .” Draco   
floundered, unable it seemed to verbalize his relationship to Harry.

Harry thought about stepping in to answer the question he knew Draco was asking, but he was taking perverse pleasure in seeing Draco unsettled and uncomfortable. He was pleased he had any effect at all on Draco. 

Draco frowned at Harry, “How did we become . . . you know?” Draco waved his hand, making a gesture between the two of them. 

“A couple?” Harry asked, finally taking pity on Draco’s discomfort. 

“Yes!” Draco nodded curtly, “How in the hell did that happen?”

“You were hot for me?” Harry suggested with a grin. 

“Be serious, Potter!” Draco insisted with another frown. He moved off the couch to pace in front of the fireplace. 

Harry got to his feet too. “I am serious, Draco,” he said the laughter draining from his voice. “I had lost my memory. I’m sure you’ll appreciate the irony of that. And, well, you pretended to be my boyfriend.”

“Very funny, Potter,” Draco scoffed. “You know I did no such thing!”

Harry moved until he was standing directly in front of Draco. He reached out and grabbed hold of Draco’s wrist and felt the pulse fluttering there. “It’s true though. You did. And then when I regained my memory, I pretended too.” Harry looked into the mists of Draco’s eyes and licked his suddenly dry lips. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his own racing heart. “Until suddenly, we weren’t pretending anymore . . . we wanted it to be real.” Harry’s body swayed, leaning toward the man he loved more than anything.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for nonconsensual kissing. Nothing more than a kiss though.

Draco pulled away, and turned his back on Harry, “I don’t remember any of that.” He leaned against the mantle and looked down at the carpet. “I can’t imagine it. It’s like you are talking about an entirely different person.”

“I don’t believe you,” Harry said with his heart hammering in his throat. He knew he was taking a risk by pushing Draco, but he couldn’t lose him now.

Draco whirled back around to face him. “Don’t be obtuse, Potter! You were there! You spoke to the doctors. Do you think I wouldn’t give anything to remember?” Draco defended himself.

“No, not about that. I know you lost your memory. But I don’t believe I’m talking about an entirely different person,” Harry insisted.

“What the hell, Potter? You’re making no sense!” Draco said angrily.

Draco started to move away from Harry, but he stopped him by resting both hands against the mantle. Caging Draco in his arms. Draco raised his hands up to push against Harry’s chest, but Harry refused to move and Draco stopped pushing when Harry began to speak, “I think you can imagine it.” 

“You’re off your rocker,” Draco muttered, looking everywhere but at Harry. 

“You can remember our sixth year, correct?” At Draco’s nod, Harry continued, “Well . . . my Draco told me about some very vivid fantasies that he had during his fifth and sixth years.” Draco did look at Harry then, his panicked grey eyes going wide. He renewed his efforts to move away from Harry, but Harry couldn’t let this opportunity pass. “And I was featured in those fantasies,” Harry whispered, bringing his lips next to Draco’s ear. “So . . . I think you can imagine it,” Harry’s whisper turned into a low growl. He kissed along Draco’s jaw and heard his breath hitch. “I think you’re just scared,” he murmured. Harry moved one hand to cup Draco’s cheek as he brought their lips together in a gentle kiss. 

Harry pulled back the tiniest bit and looked at Draco. His eyes were still wide and he was breathing hard, but he hadn’t pulled away, so Harry leaned forward and press their lips together again. The feel of his husband’s lips on his again, after days and days of worry, overwhelmed him. He pulled Draco flush against him with one arm, while with the other hand he threaded his fingers tightly through Draco’s hair. Draco’s lips parted under his and he slid his tongue into the wet heat of his mouth. 

“No! I don’t . . . I can’t,” Draco roughly pushed Harry back and tore himself from his arms. Draco moved to the other side of the room and stood with his chest heaving and his back to Harry. “I think you should leave,” he said gruffly.

“Draco! I’m sorry, I . . .” Harry started to move to follow Draco but stopped himself. “I’m sorry, I just . . . I just want my life back,” Harry’s voice broke on the last words. 

“Well that’s not how you get it,” Draco said bitterly. “I think you need to leave.”

“OK,” Harry said his shoulders slumped and his tone defeated. “When can we . . . I mean, when will I see you?” 

“I don’t know,” Draco said tiredly, “I’ll owl you.” 

With the aching in his chest nearly sending him to his knees, Harry turned and quietly let himself out of the suite. 

***

Harry couldn’t bring himself to return home without Draco so he headed over to Ron and Hermione’s, and slept on their couch. He knew he was in the way, but the hustle and bustle of the busy household helped keep him from dwelling in his own unhappiness. He hadn’t heard anything more from Draco. He had owled twice but had received no reply. He had almost daily contact with Narcissa, though. She kept him filled in on Draco’s moods and urged him to be patient with her son. 

He had been there for a week when it happened. They were all in the kitchen. Harry was cooking, Ron was keeping the kids entertained with knock-knock jokes, and Hermione was setting the table. Hermione froze as she was reaching into the cupboard, and looked down at her shoes, where there was a small puddle forming. “Ron!” she said insistently. “Ron!” she repeated.

“What?” Ron threw a quick look over his shoulder at his wife.

“I think it’s time,” she said calmly.

“Time for what?” Harry asked as he turned away from the stove. He moved over to her side. 

Hermione grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed tightly for a minute. “Time for the baby,” she said after taking a deep breath. “My water’s broken, and I’m having some contractions.” She looked up at Harry and smiled, “Your baby’s coming, Harry!” 

“My . . . my . . .,” Harry stood as if someone had cast an immobulus charm. 

Ron moved quickly to Hermione’s side. “OK, I got you,” He wrapped his arms around her and she sagged into him with a sigh. “We’ll get you to St Mungo’s. Harry, can you get the kids to Bill and Fleur’s? They’ve agreed to watch them. And send a Patronus to Mum and Dad.” While he was talking, Ron Accioed Hermione’s suitcase. When he finished, he stood there staring at Harry expectantly. “Harry?” he asked impatiently.

“Yeah, uh . . . yes, yes, I’ll get . . . isn’t it too early? I mean, she’s not due yet,” Harry turned worried eyes to both Ron and Hermione. 

Hermione bent forward and gripped Ron’s hand, “We need to go.”

“Alright then mate, take care of the kids, and Mum and Dad. We’ll see you at the hospital,” with that, Ron disapparated Hermione and himself. 

Harry shook off his fear and turned to look at a solemn Rose and Hugo. “Hey guys, we're going to go see Uncle Bill and Aunt Fleur. Let me go get your bag and we’ll leave.” Harry grabbed the bag that Hermione had prepacked and took the kids to Shell Cottage. 

Once there he filled Bill and Fleur in on the situation. He sent a Patronus to Molly and Arthur, and one to Narcissa as well. He wasn’t sure if he sent one to Draco, how he would respond. He asked Narcissa to let Draco know he was wanted at the Hospital too. He, then, apparated to St. Mungo’s.


	6. Chapter 6

Once Harry arrived at the hospital, it wasn’t long before Atria Lily arrived. Harry was pulled into Hermione’s room and stationed on her left, with Ron on her right. Ron seemed to know just what to do, encouraging her, wiping her brow, and breathing with her in turn. While Harry just stood there, overwhelmed by the whole thing, and letting Hermione use his hand as a squeeze toy during contractions. Before he knew it, the nurse was asking him if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord. Then his daughter was wrapped in a soft blanket and placed in his arms.

Harry felt his knees go weak and tears fill his eyes. He quickly sat down in an armchair by the window, and the rest of the world fell away. Tears fell freely while he looked at her sweet round face, which had just a hint of a pointy chin. Atria Lily had wispy black hair and light grey eyes, eyes that stared steadily into her father’s. He unwrapped her blanket and quickly counted, and kissed all ten fingers and toes. Then he wrapped her back up, holding her close. “Oh, my sweet girl,” he whispered. 

The nurse came over and cast a cleaning charm on Atria Lily. She helped him put her in a nappy and dress her in a baby gown. Then he wrapped her up in another soft blanket. 

“Harry!” Ron called, drawing his attention back over to the hospital bed near where he was standing. Hermione was wearing a different hospital gown and had blankets tucked around her. She looked tired but she was smiling at Harry.

“She’s perfect,” Harry said with wonderment.

“You think we could see her too, mate?” Ron asked, gesturing at Hermione and himself.

“Oh! Oh, yes! Of course,” Harry said as he rose and brought her over to his two best friends. He placed the baby in Hermione’s arms. “I don’t know how I can ever repay you . . . “ he swept fresh tears from his eyes. 

“Oh, she is perfect, isn’t she? Hi, sweetheart. I’m your Auntie Hermione! And I’m going to spoil you rotten, yes I am,” Hermione spoke sweetly to the baby in her arms. When Ron pulled Harry into his arms for an extended hug, she whispered to the tiny girl, “you have the very best daddy! I couldn’t bear to part with you for anyone else!” 

Ron turned from their hug and demanded his turn with the baby. “She has your hair Harry!” he said with a grin looking down into her face. “And it looks like she got Malfoy’s chin,” he said chuckling. When Harry stiffened next to him, he apologized, “Damn, I’m sorry mate. I forgot.” 

Harry’s reply was lost as the room was suddenly inundated with visitors. “Where’s my newest granddaughter,” Molly asked as she and Arthur entered.

“She’s beautiful, Harry,” Arthur said, coming over to give Harry an enthusiastic hug. 

Ron had gotten the word to the rest of the family, and they soon arrived. Bill brought Rose and Hugo to see their mum and meet their new cousin. Andromeda arrived with both a sulky looking Teddy and a nervous looking Narcissa in tow.

Harry lost track of his daughter as she was passed around among family members. He was standing on the edge of the group when he saw Teddy over by himself. Harry went to give his godson a hug, but the boy stiffened up. “What’s wrong, Teddy? You feeling ok?” Harry asked.

“What do you care?” Teddy grumbled, looking down at his feet. “Don’t know why we had to come and see a dumb old baby anyway.”

Comprehension dawned in Harry and he knelt down in front of Teddy. “That’s too bad, Ted,” he said slowly. “I was kind of hoping you could, you know, help me out. Since you’re my godson, I was hoping you would want to be her big brother.” Harry reached out and gently squeezed Teddy’s shoulder. “I thought maybe you could show her the ropes, y’know. Big brother stuff. You’d be really important!” 

“Really?” Teddy looked up eagerly into Harry’s face. “I’d be important?”

“Always, Ted! To both me and the baby,” Harry reassured him.

“To my sister,” Teddy corrected. 

“Yes, to your sister, and to me,” Harry folded him into a big hug. Then he stood up and asked, “Where’s my daughter? She needs to meet her big brother!” He sat Teddy in the armchair and placed Atria in his lap. “That’s it, Ted. Make sure you hold her head up, she can’t do that by herself yet.”

“She’s really small,” Teddy said. “What’s her name again?”

“It’s Atria Lily,” Harry answered.

“That’s an awfully big name for a tiny girl. I think I’ll call her Al! First of all, Al, you’re gonna love dragons. They are the coolest. And wait until you meet Uncle Charlie, he’s the coolest too!” Teddy focused all of his attention on the baby. Atria looked up at him solemnly, seemingly listening to every word.

While Harry was standing by Teddy, Narcissa came over to speak to him. She gestured to Teddy and the baby, “She’s perfect, Harry.” 

Harry’s joy faded, “He didn’t come.”

“No. I’m sorry, Harry,” Narcissa reached out and grabbed his hands. “Please don’t give up on him! He was so happy with you, and about the baby-“ her voice broke. “Don’t give up, Harry. He just needs time,” she pleaded. 

“It’s so hard, Narcissa,” Harry’s voice broke too. “He’s not even trying. He won’t see me, and he wouldn’t come for his own daughter!” Harry scrubbed away angry tears. “Tell him he should have been here! She needs her Papa too!” 

Just then the nurse bustled in, “All right, the party’s over. Mrs. Granger-Weasley needs her rest. Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter may stay, but everyone else needs to leave. Hermione gave the nurse a grateful smile. Everyone bustled around with hugs and kisses for Harry, Atria, and Hermione. At last the room was quiet with just the trio of friends, and the baby they all loved, remaining. “I have a room prepared for you and your baby, Mr. Potter. It will allow Mrs. Granger-Weasley to rest more easily,” the nurse said. 

Harry looked over to where Ron was leaning against the bed and holding his wife. They both looked exhausted. “Oh, sure, of course. I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Harry said as he followed the nurse out, with a sleeping Atria in his arms. 

She set him up in a nearby room with a hospital bed and a nearby bassinet. When she left, Harry laid his daughter down in the baby bed and pulled it next to the hospital bed. He lay down on the bed, the enormity of the day catching up to him. He had the child he always wanted, but without the man who meant everything to him. With his heart aching, Harry fell into an exhausted slumber.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry Potter “The Boy Who Lived” at the moment was more like “The Man Who Was Totally Overwhelmed by Parenthood!” He had taken an extended leave of absence from the Aurors. He was currently laying on his couch crying while his daughter lay, also crying, in her bassinet nearby. He glared balefully at the three-foot-high stack of parenting and baby care books on his coffee table. They had been no help whatsoever. Al, he had decided to adopt Teddy’s nickname for Atria Lily, refused to sleep for more than two hours at a time. Currently, he had tried everything he could think of and still she was crying. He had fed her, burped her, changed her nappy, rocked her, walked with her, wrapped her tightly, wrapped her loosely, put her down and walked out of the room (that had only lasted 5 minutes), taken her temperature, checked her for curses and spells, and nothing had helped! He was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. So he decided just to join his daughter in her tears.

Al had come home with him the day after she was born. At first, they had plenty of visitors, friends and family arriving with food and gifts. Everyone they knew had come, with two notable exceptions. Hermione had decided that she needed some space to focus on her own family, and would not come and see them for the first month. Harry knew she was making the best choice for her, but he missed her. And he could really use the advice of smartest person, as well as the best parent, he knew right now. 

The other person who hadn’t come was his husband. The love of his life, Al’s papa, had not shown up. Narcissa had come by with apologies and more pleas for patience, but Harry’s patience was at an end. This wasn’t right, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. He had never planned on being a single parent. He should have his partner by his side, helping him in caring for their daughter. 

Every surface in his home (floors, chairs, tables, and beds) was covered with dirty clothes, both his and the baby’s, dirty dishes, half eaten food, cups of unfinished tea, and dirty baby bottles. His shirt had stains from formula, spit-up, and at least three of his meals. He couldn’t remember the last time he had showered. His hair was so dirty and lank it was actually lying flat. And he was so ripe not even cleaning charms were helping anymore.   
As he lay in the couch listening to his baby’s wails, he got angrier and angrier. “Fuck this!” he thought. Draco had helped to create their baby. He had a responsibility to both Harry and Al, he could damn well step up and share in that. Before he could think too much about what he was doing, he stood and picked up Al. He grabbed her bag filled with extra nappies, clothes, and formula, and apparated them both to the middle of the Malfoy’s suite at the Wailing Wraith. 

Harry blasted through whatever wards may have been in place and landed with a loud crack. He looked around to see a startled Narcissa starting to rise from a chaise lounge, and an angry Draco brandishing his wand. 

“What is the meaning of this, Potter? You can’t just barge in here without permission!” Draco shouted. His face was white and he slowly lowered the wand he had tightly clutched in his hand. 

Harry felt momentarily sorry about the fright he had just undoubtedly given them, but then his anger overtook him once again. “Well, apparently I can, Malfoy! I just did!” he shouted back. Al let out a loud wail just then, bringing his attention back to the reason he had done this in the first place. He dropped the baby’s bag, marched over to Draco and put the crying baby into his arms. “This is your daughter. It’s time you met her, and I need a shower.” Harry headed toward the bedroom that Narcissa hadn’t used on his previous visit. He paused at the doorway, “I need help, and you’re going to give it to me. We’ll either live here or at Grimmauld Place, I don’t care which, but you are going to help parent our daughter.” With that pronouncement, Harry turned into the bedroom and headed toward a door he hoped was the bathroom. 

The shower felt so lovely he considered staying in it for a few hours, but he forced himself to get out after he had washed his hair three times and lathered up his body four times! He knew he needed to go back in and face the fallout from his previous declaration. He meant it though, he was determined that Draco was going to help him and to be a father to their daughter. 

Harry left the steamy bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. His clothes were so disgusting that he had just used an Incindio on them. Now he poked around Draco’s bedroom, looking at his clothes. He had worn some of Draco’s clothes before. Draco was taller and more slender, but Harry could use magic to make any adjustments he needed. In amongst the wizarding robes, Harry found some muggle trousers and shirts. He chose a pair of plain grey trousers that he thought he could pull off, and a shirt patterned in grey, lilac, and blue that was made out of the softest material Harry had ever felt. He found Draco’s underwear drawer and pulled on a pair of black boxer shorts. A wave of desire washed over him as he pictured Draco wearing nothing but this pair of pants. He pushed those thoughts aside and finished dressing, adjust the clothes to fit his frame. He had no choice but to put back on his old trainers, all of Draco’s shoes looked too uncomfortable, and if he looked foolish – so be it. 

He moved back into the main room and was arrested by the sight that greeted him. Draco was sitting stiffly on the couch with a sleeping Al held in his arms. This! This was what he had pictured for so long! His heart ached afresh seeing his husband and daughter together. 

The spell was broken as Draco noticed him and snapped, “Potter! Get over here and take her!” 

“No that’s ok, you two are bonding,” Harry tried to keep a straight face as he moved to sit across from Draco.

“What are you . . . are those MY clothes, Potter?” Draco glared at Harry as he spoke. 

Harry relaxed into the chair and grinned at Draco, this was fun. “Yeah, my stuff was too gross. This shirt though, it feels amazing,” Harry emphasized his last words by stroking his hand down his chest. It didn’t seem possible, but Draco stiffened up even more, at that display. Harry looked around, “Where is Narcissa?”

“Mother had an appointment that she had to rush off to,” Draco answered sourly. “Come and take this baby, Potter! I haven’t the faintest idea of what I am doing.”

“You seem to be doing all right. You got her to stop crying and go to sleep, and I hadn’t been able to do that for the last four hours,” Harry said as he remained sprawled in the chair across from Draco.

“That wasn’t me,” Draco hissed furiously, “Mother got her calmed and sleeping and then just thrust her at me, and then she went off to her appointment. I have been sitting here since she left. I’m afraid to move a muscle, lest she awakens and starts that racket again.” 

“You better get used to ‘that racket’ because there is going to be a lot of that in your future,” Harry said, refusing to feel sorry for Draco.

“About that, Potter. You weren’t serious. We can’t possibly live together,” Draco frowned and added another furious hiss. 

“We can and we will!” Harry sat forward and leaned toward Draco, “You are not a teenager anymore, Draco. It’s time to grow up and be a man! And start living up to your responsibilities. You have a daughter now, and she comes first! Look, I’m not talking about us, being together,” Harry waved a hand toward Draco. “We can each have our own room. But you need to be a father, and I’m not willing to do this part-time, so we will live together and both parent our baby.” Harry was running on pure adrenaline at this point, but he needed to get this settled before he collapsed. He looked over at Draco who was still frowning and sitting rigidly. “Are we going to do that here, or at Grimmauld Place?” 

Draco seemed to wilt a little and his shoulders slumped, “Mother heard your pronouncement and declared that it was time for her to return to France. She will be returning this afternoon.” Draco looked away from Harry and took a deep breath, “All things considered we will have much more room at Grimmauld Place, so I will move there.” At Harry’s relieved smile, Draco hastened to add, “I don’t believe for one minute that this arrangement will be sustainable. We will want to kill each other within days.”


	8. Chapter 8

A few hours later found Harry and Draco standing in the middle of the living room at Grimmauld Place, the baby in Harry’s arms and Draco’s trunk at their feet. “You must be out of your mind, Potter, if you think I will spend one minute living in this sty,” Draco said disparagingly. 

“I realize it’s a bit messy,” Harry picked his way carefully across the debris-strewn room to lay his sleeping daughter down in the portable crib. 

“A bit messy,” Draco huffed, “I shudder to think what the Gryffindor common room looked like!” 

“It’s been hard to keep up with everything,” Harry pushed his right hand through his hair causing random strands to stick straight up. “That’s why you’re here.”

“I am no house elf, Potter!” Draco said indignantly. “No self-respecting house elf would let this happen. Where is your house elf, Potter?”

“Kreacher died quite a while ago,” Harry answered.

“You can get another house elf,” Draco looked at Harry critically, as his eyes swept over the disaster of a living room. 

“Yeah, right! Hermione would have a fit if I owned a house elf,” tired of standing, Harry sat down on the couch. He winced and then removed a dirty baby bottle and a teddy bear out from underneath himself.

“You could pay them,” Draco suggested. Harry raised an eyebrow quizzically but didn’t reply. “You can!” Draco insisted.

“How the hell would you know, Malfoy?” Harry scoffed.

“Well, that’s what the elves at the hotel said,” Draco defended himself. 

“What? What are you talking about?” asked Harry.

Draco spoke slowly, exaggerating each word, “The – elves – at – the – hotel – told – me – they – get – paid!” 

“What? Why? Why would . . .” Harry sputtered. 

“Look! I don’t know all the details. I just know that they told me they get paid. There must be some sort of house elf employment bureau. Surely an important Auror, like yourself, would be able to find out the details. Otherwise, we are leaving here and returning to the hotel! Where there are actual house elves!” Draco crossed his arms over his chest to punctuate his declaration. 

“Fine! I’ll owl my assistant. She might know what you’re talking about.” Harry was too exhausted to argue with Draco, but there was one point he wouldn’t concede, “Cooking and cleaning only! We agreed, before, that no one else was going to raise our baby for us!” 

Draco nodded, “That’s acceptable, Potter.” He looked over toward the hallway, “Where will I be staying?”

Harry looked at the man standing so stiffly in his living room and he had to acknowledge that this man was not his husband, not in their hearts anyway. They wouldn’t be sharing a bed again anytime in the near future. Harry heaved himself up off the couch, “There is a guest room across from Al’s room. You can stay there.” Harry led the way out of the room and up the stairs, while Draco levitated his trunk behind him. 

They walked down the hall and Harry opened the door to the pristine bedroom. He hadn’t used this room at all, so it had escaped the baby detritus. The room was done in all in shades of grey and silver. Draco stepped into the room and looked around. “This is unexpected. It’s quite nice,” he said in surprise. 

Harry snorted with dark humor, “Of course you like it, you decorated it!” Draco looked back at him blankly. “You redecorated the whole house, actually. So if you don’t like anything, you have only yourself to blame.” Harry moved out of the room and back into the hall. “Al’s room is right there,” he said pointing to a door across the hall. “And down there is the hall bath, and on beyond that is our . . . I mean, my room.” Harry looked away from Draco. Fuck, this was so hard to treat him like a stranger! “Your clothes are all still in the closet. You can leave them there if you want. The guest room only has one small wardrobe.” 

Draco held himself rigidly. Even though he was only a foot away from Harry, it felt like miles. “I wouldn’t want to impose,” he said stiffly. 

“It’s no problem,” Harry said hurriedly. He needed to get away from Draco before he did something stupid like cry all over him or try to kiss him. “I’ll let you get settled in, while I send an owl about the house elf.” Harry moved down the hall towards his own room. When he reached his door, he looked back and Draco was still standing where he had left him. He looked a bit lost or maybe a little defeated. “Thanks, Draco,” Harry called back to him, “Thanks for trying this.” With that, Harry rushed into his room before he lost all composure. 

The house elf was arranged for with surprisingly little fuss. His assistant had known just who to contact, and it was all arranged that their new house elf, Hilly, would arrive tomorrow morning. She would be paid, have two days off a week, with paid vacation and sick leave. Even Hermione could find no fault with this arrangement. 

Harry could hear Atria’s small cries as she woke up downstairs. He knew, from much experience, if he didn’t tend to her soon they would turn into full-blown wails. He thought he should take Draco with him and start showing him the ropes, so to speak. He stopped, on his way downstairs, and knocked on Draco’s door. Draco answered it quickly, and then just stood there waiting for Harry to speak. Draco had taken off his suit jacket and tie and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt. Seeing Draco standing there looking so handsome turned Harry’s already tired brain into mush. “I . . . uh, she’s waking up,” Harry jerked his thumb in the direction of the stairs, “I should, er . . . you know . . . show you what she, uh . . . needs, and stuff.” Red in the face with embarrassment, Harry turned away and started downstairs without waiting to see if Draco was following. 

Luckily, he was and they reached the living room quickly. Harry took their fussy baby in his arms and gently rocked her while he made cooing noises at her. “Why are you doing that?” Draco asked frowning at Harry.

“Doing what?” Harry asked.

“You know . . . the bouncing, rocking thing . . . the noises,” Draco’s frown deepened. 

“I don’t know . . . she likes it,” Harry said defensively.

“Well, I won’t be doing any of that,” Draco scoffed. 

Harry decided Draco could find out for himself that he would soon be doing anything and everything he could to stop their daughter from crying. He showed Draco how to prepare Al’s bottle, and then how to change her nappy. When he first started, Draco had pulled out a small notebook and was taking copious notes. Harry would give anything to get a glimpse of Draco’s notes on how to change a nappy, he was sure they would be hilarious. 

With his daughter fed, burped and in a fresh nappy, he took Draco upstairs and showed him how to settle her in her crib. “Try to catch her when her eyelids are heavy and mostly closing, just like this,” Harry whispered. “If she sleeps too long in your arms, she will wake when you go to lay her down,” he continued quietly. He held his breath when she didn’t protest and fell asleep. He put his finger to his lips and motioned with his head toward the door. 

When they were back downstairs, he updated Draco, “The house elf will be here tomorrow morning. Her name is Hilly.” 

“Good,” Draco said shortly, looking around the disaster of a room. 

“I can order takeaway. Or I can make beans and toast for supper,” Harry suggested. 

“I’m not that hungry,” Draco demurred. “I think I’ll just retire early.” 

“Ok then,” Harry felt oddly deflated. “Let me cast the baby monitoring charm on your wand.”

“What? What are you talking about?” Draco took a step away from Harry clutching his wand defensively.

“Muggles have these things called baby monitors, that let them listen to their babies from another room. Hermione created a charm for the same purpose. It will vibrate when the baby wakes up and it will start to chime if she is crying. It will get louder as she does.” Harry held out his hand expectantly. Draco reluctantly handed over his wand, and Harry charmed it and handed it back. “You will be on the first shift. She wakes, every three hours.”

“That’s . . . that’s inhuman!” Draco said.

“No, that’s just babies,” Harry chuckled. “With each of us taking turns, we should be able to get close to six hours of sleep!” 

“Good night then, Potter,” Draco said somewhat formally. Then he went back up to the guest room. 

Harry thought about just going to sleep himself, but his stomach chose that moment to grumble loudly. He went to the kitchen and quickly assembled his supper of tea and beans on toast. He sat in the kitchen to eat and regarded the room around him. It was as messy, if not more, than the rest of the house. He knew he should probably try and straighten up before Hilly arrived tomorrow, but he was just too exhausted. 

He was sleeping deeply when he felt his wand vibrate next to him. He rolled over and started to go back to sleep when it started chiming. He lay there debating with himself about whether to get up and help Draco or let him sink or swim on his own. He finally hauled himself out of bed, deciding to be a grown-up. This was his daughter after all. 

Harry stood just outside of Al’s room and peeked in. The baby was making her fussy cry. Draco was standing with Al cradled in one arm, and a baby bottle held in the other hand. Harry leaned on the doorframe to watch. Draco was wearing only pajama bottoms and had their daughter cuddled against his bare chest. He was bouncing on his toes and lightly rocking his hips. “Come on, my little star, just try the bottle,” he coaxed. “It’s delicious, I’m certain.” When he placed the bottle against her lips, she turned her face away and pursed up her lips. “OK, then,” Draco turned and set the bottle on a nearby dresser, giving Harry a view of the long line of his spine and sweet curve of his ass. 

Draco turned back around to face Harry but his attention was still fully on the baby in his arms. He began to bounce more in earnest. Draco cooed at the baby, “Ok, little star, if you tell your daddy I did this I’ll . . . well, I’ll never buy you a pony.” He smiled down at the baby. She had stopped crying and was gurgling up at him. “Oh, you don’t think I mean it, do you? I’ll have you know I am going to be a very strict father! And while we’re on the subject, no boyfriends! Ever!” Draco laughed softly, his eyes shining down at his daughter. 

And just like that, Harry’s heart broke again. This! This was everything he had imagined back when he and Draco had dreamed of starting a family. Draco cradling their child and looking so happy. Tears welled up in Harry’s eyes and fell softly down his face.


	9. Chapter 9

They had fallen into something of a routine. Soon after Hilly arrived, Harry realized he didn’t know how he had ever survived without her. His home was now clean and organized, and she was an excellent cook who provided them with delicious meals. She even prepared food ahead so they could eat it on her days off. Hilly turned out to be easy to get along with. She was quiet, and a little bit shy around Harry but she turned playful around Al. Harry had seen her entertaining his daughter with what must be the house elf version of peek-a-boo, where Hilly would disapparate and then apparate again making silly faces at Al. Most surprising, she seemed to get along especially well with Draco. Harry had found them several times having quiet conversations in the kitchen. 

Harry himself did not have too much contact with Draco. They took turns caring for Al, and Draco was getting quite good with her. The few times Harry was able to watch them together, unobserved, had swelled his heart with emotion. Unfortunately, whenever Draco noticed that Harry was there too, he would hand Al over to Harry and leave the room. 

The one guaranteed daily contact he did have with Draco was thanks to Hilly. On her first day with them, she insisted on setting the dining room table formally for dinner. After she had gone to so much trouble, neither man had the heart to disappoint her so they sat down to eat together. They had continued this every day, surprisingly even on her days off. Some days all that kept Harry going was the thought that he would have Draco to himself for that hour at dinner. Their conversations we casual and superficial, but it was better than the rest of the day when Draco avoided Harry. 

They had gone three weeks like this, but Harry didn’t know how to change things. Hermione kept advising him to just be patient, while Ron thought he should just grab Draco and snog the stuffing out of him. This advice gave Harry an unwanted look into his best friends’ marriage. 

Resigned to another day of Draco avoiding him, Harry headed to the study to grab a Quidditch magazine that Hilly now kept organized on their own shelf. He was halfway into the darkened room when he realized Draco was standing over by the fireplace, with a framed photo in his hands. It was a wizarding photo from their wedding day. They had both been dressed in custom-made tuxedos. Draco with a green and silver brocade waistcoat and a green bowtie, and Harry with a black on black brocade waistcoat and a green tie. They had been so ridiculously happy that day. They had married in the back garden here at Grimmauld Place, surrounded by their friends and family. Harry had never seen Draco smile and laugh so much. The photo Draco held was a candid one that had been snapped when Draco had surprised Harry from behind and spun him around and into his arms for a passionate kiss in front of everyone. They had both pulled back from the kiss and laughed with the sheer joy of the day. This was Harry’s most treasured photo from that day. 

Draco looked up when he heard Harry’s steps. On his face was a pained expression and it looked like he had been crying. “Draco. .?” Harry didn’t know what to say. 

“We looked so happy,” Draco said sadly.

“We were,” Harry’s voice broke a little. “It was the best day of my life.” 

“It’s not fair,” Draco clenched his fist and looked away, “so much has been taken from me. So many years I can’t get back.” Draco gestured at all of the many photos in the room, “All of this. I don’t know this man. I’m not this man, I didn’t do any of these things. In my head, I’m still some sixteen-year-old brat.” 

“But you’re not,” Harry moved to stand in front of Draco. “You may not have these memories, but you are this man,” he insisted. “We can be happy again. You just have to try . . .” Harry lifted his hand and traced it along Draco’s cheek, “Please try, Draco.” Harry felt Draco tense up, so he dropped his hand and moved away. 

“Wait, Potter, stop,” Draco took the step that put him in front of Harry again. “I’m trying . . . I am. I want this,” he waved the frame in his hand. He looked at Harry, his grey eyes intense and unsmiling, “I do!” 

Harry swallowed hard, he couldn’t remember feeling so unsure of himself, “but . . . but do you want it with me?”

Draco took a deep breath, his posture was still tense and unyielding. “Yes,” he breathed out. 

“What now?” Harry thought to himself. Draco was saying all the right words, and he should be happy but his body language was telling a different story. Although he just wanted to sweep the other man up into his arms and take him to bed, Harry knew they were a long way from that. “Baby steps, then?” Harry suggested. At Draco’s quizzical look, he clarified, “We’ll start out slow, ok?”

Draco’s shoulders relaxed infinitesimally, “Ok.” 

“How about we do something fun tomorrow? I’m sure I can get Molly to watch Al,” Harry smiled, warming up to his impulsive idea. “We can go flying.” 

“Flying?” Draco was looking at him with confusion.

“Yes, flying. Surely you remember how much you love to fly?” Harry responded. “We have brooms. In the shed out back. What do you say?”

“Ok,” Draco answered hesitantly, “Let’s go flying.” 

***

All was ready for their date. Molly was thrilled to get Al all to herself for the afternoon. Harry had gone out to the shed last night and had cleaned and polished their brooms. Hilly packed them a picnic lunch. Harry apparated them both out to a meadow in the countryside that they had used for flying before. It was the perfect late summer day, warm but with a slight breeze. Harry handed Draco his broom and set down the picnic basket. He cast the appropriate wards and muggle rappelling charms. Then he pulled a snitch out of his pocket, “Care for a match?” he asked with a grin. 

“We do this kind of thing often?” Draco asked dubiously.

“Yeah,” Harry tossed back. 

“Alright then,” Draco mounted his broom and nodded at the snitch Harry was still holding, “Let’s do it!” 

Harry released the snitch and they both took off. It was all joy and exhilaration as they both flew and dove and rolled, having the time of their lives. Two hours later, they had landed and were sitting on a small hill at the edge of the meadow. They were both reclining back on their hands, catching their breath. They had played three games, Draco had won two of them and had been grinning like a loon since the first win. 

“That was bloody brilliant!” Harry said turning his head to look at Draco. 

“Brilliant!” Draco echoed. “I beat you, Potter! What do I win?” Draco laughed. 

Harry laughed back and rummaged in the basket next to him, “Well I have a sandwich or a biscuit? Or you could have a kiss?” The laughter fell away and Harry held his breath while he waited for Draco’s answer. He looked at Draco, whose eyes were flicking from Harry’s mouth to his eyes and back again. 

“I’ll take the kiss,” Draco said so quietly, Harry wasn’t sure he heard him correctly. But then he leaned in toward Harry and Harry leaned in too, meeting him halfway. Their lips whispered together, brushing lightly – then parting, before brushing together again. 

Harry fought against the need to push Draco down and cover his body with his own. He held himself back and continued this tantalizing kiss. Harry licked at Draco’s bottom lip, and then pressed their lips together again. Draco made a small needy sound, and Harry brought his hands up to thread through Draco’s hair and hold him steady for a deeper kiss, but Draco grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands away. Draco broke the kiss and sat back away from Harry.

“Sorry,” Draco said looking away from Harry. 

“Did . . . uh, did I do something wrong?” Harry asked quietly. 

“No! No, you didn’t,” Draco pushed both his hands through his hair and then dropped his head, “Fuck this is hard to explain.” He pulled his knees up and then crossed his arms over his knees and rested his forehead on his arms. Harry stayed quiet, waiting. “I don’t remember anything about sex,” Draco’s voice was so low Harry strained to hear it. “About having sex, I mean.” Draco paused, lifting his head a risking a look over in Harry’s direction. “Don’t laugh, but it’s like I’m a virgin. Ridiculous isn’t it”

Harry reached over and rested his hand on top of Draco’s. He squeezed it slightly, “I won’t laugh Draco. I guess that means you hadn’t had sex by sixth year?”

“No! Had you?” Draco snapped back.

“Hardly!” Harry gave a dark laugh, “I had hardly even kissed anyone at that point. And for several years after that!”

“Sorry, I’m ruining our date, aren’t I?” Draco was back to looking at the ground in front of him. 

Harry kept his hand atop Draco’s and squeezed it again, “You haven’t ruined anything! The point of this day was to relax and get comfortable with each other. Thank you for telling me that. Look, we can go as slow as you need to. I’m just happy you’re willing to talk to me.” Harry gave one final squeeze of his hand and then pulled away to rummage in the picnic basket. “Let’s eat! I’m starved. Then maybe we can fit in one more game?”

Draco gave Harry a grateful smile, and accepted a sandwich, “That sounds good, Harry. All of it.”


	10. Chapter 10

It had been about a week since their date and Draco was still not initiating any kisses. They had, however, progressed to spending more time together, and Draco didn’t automatically leave the room anymore when Harry entered it. This evening Draco had come and joined Harry on the couch, where he had been playing peek-a-boo with Al. 

“She seems to really like that,” Draco said as he came and sat on the edge of the couch, near to Harry but not touching. 

Harry had Al laying along his thighs and was bending over her to play their game. He rested one hand on her tummy and used the other to cover his face. “I know I sure do. Peek-a-boo!” Harry laughed and smiled at the baby.

“Is that? Did she just smile?” Draco leaned closer to Al and his shoulder brushed Harry’s.

Harry pulled his hand away from his face, “Wait. Where? Let me see.”

“No, you have to do it again! Put your hand over your face. She likes it when she sees you again,” Draco directed.

Harry played another round of the game, this time paying close attention to Al when he lowered his hand. “Oh! There!” he crowed when he saw the baby smile. 

“That’s my girl,” Draco said as he gently tickled her cheek with his finger. 

Harry turned caught up in the joy of the moment and leaned forward to press their lips together. He felt Draco stiffen for a moment before relaxing and open his mouth to him. Harry cupped the back of Draco’s head with his free hand and slid his tongue in. Al squirmed as if wanting her fathers’ attention all back on her, and they broke the kiss with a gasp. 

Draco opened his mouth to speak but was cut off when Hilly apparated into the room. 

“Hey Hilly, is everything ok?” Harry asked, still struggling to calm his racing heart. 

“Hilly is wanting to ask Sirs a question,” she asked.

“Of course, Hilly. What can we do for you?” Draco responded, slowly edging away from Harry. 

“Can Hilly be holding the Little Miss?” Hilly asked, her body leaning forward toward the baby and her ears twitching. 

“Uh . . .” Harry looked at Draco questioningly and then down at Al, and then back at Draco. He knew Hilly wasn’t a child even though she was small, but he wasn’t quite sure about this.

“Of course!” Draco answered smoothly, ignoring Harry’s hesitation. He reached over and picked up Al, and then turned to place her in Hilly’s arms. 

“Oh Sirs!” she breathed out reverently. “Little Miss is being the most beautiful witch!” Hilly gently cradled the baby in her arms and slowly rocked her. Then she smiled down at Al and wiggled her ears. This produced another smile from the baby.

“I think she likes you too, Hilly,” Draco said gently. 

“Oh Sirs!” Hilly looked up at Harry and Draco with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes. “Can Hilly be taking the Little Miss to her crib?” she looked up at them expectantly. 

Harry finally found his voice. Clearly, the little elf would be very careful with his daughter. “Sure, Hilly. You can put her to bed. Do you know where her fresh nappies are?” 

“Yes! Yes!” Hilly smile got wider, “Sirs can stay here and talk a long time. Hilly is looking after the Little Miss.” She carried the baby out of the room, talking to her quietly the whole time. 

“I guess they’ll be fine,” Harry suggested nervously.

“You do realize I was pretty much raised by House Elves, don’t you Potter?” Draco Drawled. “I would stake my life on the fact that neither Lucious nor Narcissa ever changed a nappy, wouldn’t you?” That mental image succeeded in cracking them both up. 

The laughter faded as Harry looked into Draco’s eyes. He slid his left hand back to cup Draco’s neck and bring him closer. The right hand he slipped under Draco’s shirt to caress the soft skin at his waist. With their lips just millimeters apart, Harry waited breathing softly. He desired Draco so badly his whole body ached, but he also needed to know that Draco wanted him back. So he waited. 

His patience was rewarded when Draco whispered, “Potter,” and leaned forward to brush his lips against Harry’s. Draco’s hands came up to fist in Harry’s t-shirt and drag him closer.

Harry groaned and gave into the urge to tighten his arms around his husband. “Fuck, you taste so good,” he muttered.

Draco whined a little in his throat and moved to straddle Harry’s lap. Harry moved his hand from Draco’s waist down to hold the firm curve of Draco’s ass and pull him closer. The first brush of their hard cocks was almost his undoing. He and Draco both moaned into their kiss as they rutted together. Harry moved his hand to start unfastening Draco’s trousers. 

Draco stiffened up and broke away from the kiss. “I’m sorry” he mumbled not looking at Harry.

Harry placed his hand gently on Draco’s cheek, “It’s alright, Draco. I said we can go slowly, and I meant it. I don’t want anything you’re not comfortable with.” Harry let go of Draco and Draco moved to sit back on the couch. 

“What about . . .” Draco looked pointedly down at where Harry’s erection was straining against the fabric of his trousers.

“Oh, that” Harry chuckled. “Well, my right hand and I have become well acquainted over these last weeks.” 

“You mean you’ll . . .” Draco began.

“Have a nice wank,” Harry interrupted, laughing, “yeah!”

“Would you want?” Draco began tentatively. “No, forget it.”

“No, please, tell me Draco. Would I want what?” Harry turned his body toward Draco’s.

“Would you want to show me?” Draco whispered. When Harry remained silent, Draco looked up at him, biting his lower lip. 

“Fuck, yes! Touch myself . . . while you watch?” Harry’s voice came out in a gravelly whisper. 

Draco just nodded, his eyes wide as he continued to nibble nervously on his bottom lip. 

“You are so fucking gorgeous! Do you have any idea?” Harry lay back and slid his right hand down to cup his prick through his trousers. He groaned at the sensation and watched as Draco’s mouth fell open. It felt good to give his cock some relief, but it wasn’t enough. He quickly unfastened his flies and thrust his hand inside of his pants. He groaned again when his fingers closed around his throbbing erection. Watching Draco as he stroked his prick. 

“I . . . I can’t see. Want to see you,” Draco whispered.

Harry stood up on unsteady legs. He pulled off his shirt and then shoved his trousers and pants down to his knees, his cock bobbed as it was released. He was so turned on by Draco watching, that it wasn’t going to take much to make him come. He sat back down trying to spread his legs as far as he could, even with them still trapped in his clothes. Draco’s eyes were riveted on Harry’s prick, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly with his breaths. 

Harry wordlessly conjured some lube and spread it all over his aching cock. He wrapped his right hand around his cock and stroked, twisting his hand when he reached the head and then stroking back down. He used his left hand to stroke his chest and pinch his nipples. “Oh! Fuck! Fuck!” Harry gasped.

Draco leaned forward, intent on what Harry was doing. 

Fuck! Harry needed to slow it down, or it would be over much too soon. He let go of his prick, instead just tracing his fingertips over its length, swirling them over the tip and playing with his slit. “Do you want to see me come all over myself?” he panted. 

“Yes!” Draco leaned over even farther. “Can I . . .?” Draco reached out one hand. 

“Please! Yes, please Draco!” Harry thrust his hips up into the air. 

Draco’s fingers joined Harry’s tracing over his cock. Harry moaned and thrust his hips up some more. Draco’s hand brushed away Harry’s fingers and his hand tentatively closed around Harry prick. “Please,” he whispered, and Draco’s fingers tightened in response. “Oh, God! Yes, don’t stop!” Harry couldn’t stop himself from thrusting up into Draco’s tight grip. “Please, please,” he begged mindlessly. 

Draco tightened his fingers around Harry and sped up his strokes, his fingers sliding swiftly over the velvety flesh. “Come, Potter! Come for me,” Draco demanded in a low voice. 

Harry felt the rising need of want and pleasure spiral up. And then he was coming, wet and warm all over Draco’s hand and his own chest. Harry used his clean hand to pull Draco close and kiss him softly. “That was amazing,” he said quietly.

Draco pulled his sticky hand off of Harry’s prick and ducked his head, blond hair falling across his face and blushing. “I . . . I’ll see you in the morning then,” Draco said nervously, looking everywhere but where Harry sat cock out and legs sprawled still covered with come. Then he rushed from the room calling back, “goodnight.”

Harry slowly pulled himself together, disappointment crushing him as he came crashing down rudely from his orgasm. It had felt so good to come with Draco’s touching him. He had thought they were making progress, but Draco had pulled back again and Harry didn’t know where they stood. 

Wearily he made his way to his bed. He stopped to check on Al and was bemused at the sight that greeted him. Tiny Hilly was sitting in the rocking chair, cradling a sleeping Al in her arms, singing a soft lullaby. She looked up when she noticed Harry and gave him an adoring smile, then she went back to singing to the sleeping baby. Clearly, Harry thought, he would have to rethink his ‘no House Elves will raise his child’ policy. Hilly was obviously in her element and Al could only benefit by having more people who loved her, in her life. 

Harry was subdued as he washed and changed for bed. In an effort to feel closer to him, he decided to sleep on Draco’s side of the bed. Eventually, he fell into a restless sleep. 

He wasn’t sure what had awakened him, but he woke to a darkened room with a figure looming next to his bed. He pulled his wand from beneath his pillow and cast “Lumos.” “Draco?” he croaked, when he saw the man standing there, “Al? Is she . . .” He started to push himself up to get out of bed.

“No, no she’s fine,” Draco said quickly, and Harry sank back down to his pillow. “Merlin! I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking . . . sorry I woke you.” 

Draco turned to leave, but Harry hurriedly spoke up,” Don’t, don’t go. It’s ok. What . . . er, what did you want?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this update on the one year anniversary of my first post to AO3! It's been an incredible year. Thank you to all who have read my stories and to those who have given Kudos and left comments! I appreciate all of it. C-
> 
> PS here's a little smut for my anniversary ;)

“Sorry I didn’t mean to wake you . . . I couldn’t sleep,” Draco stood very close to the side of Harry’s bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around himself, and frowned. He was wearing a thin t-shirt and sleep pants.

“That’s ok,” Harry said sleepily, “Wanna talk about it?”

“I just couldn’t stop thinking about . . . before,” Draco shivered and shifted on his bare feet.

Harry realized that the temperature must have dropped and he knew that his floor was cold. “Here. Get in, you’re freezing,” Harry quickly scooted over to the middle of the bed and pulled back the covers invitingly. When Draco hesitated, Harry encouraged, “Come on, before the sheets get cold.” 

Draco slid into the bed, gingerly, as if afraid to set off an explosion. They lay there for a minute in silence. Harry ended his ‘Lumos” charm and plunged them back into darkness. “I should go,” Draco whispered into the dark. 

“No. Stay,” Harry whispered back. He was lying on his side, facing where Draco was lying flat and stiff as a board. “You said you were thinking about before? Do you mean when I touched myself?” Draco didn’t answer but made a small noise in the back of his throat. “Did you hate it?” Harry asked quietly.

“No,” Draco breathed out his answer. 

Harry’s eyes had adjusted to the moonlight and he could see that Draco was clutching tightly at the blankets across his chest. “Did you . . . did you, ah . . . like it?” Harry asked, his heart pounding so loudly in his ears that he almost missed Draco’s response.

“Yes,” he quietly hissed, still refusing to turn and look at Harry.

“Did you like touching me? Did you like watching me come?” Harry moved closer as he spoke, so he could feel Draco’s body heat and his leg was pressed alongside the other man’s. 

In response, Draco gave a small sob and tightened his grip on the bed covers. 

“Did you think you might like to do it again?” Harry pressed on. He leaned closer so his lips touched the shell of Draco’s ear and he could whisper, “Maybe this time I can touch you? Would you like that?” Draco moaned and his chest started rising and falling rapidly. Harry gave a low chuckle, “I think that’s a yes . . . but I really need to hear you say it.” 

“Yes,” Draco’s whisper was faint and his eyes were pressed shut.

Harry took his index finger and gently traced the curves of Draco’s lips. He paused with his finger resting on Draco’s lower lip. “Yes, what? What do you want me to do?”

Draco’s lips parted and his breath caught in his throat. “Yes, touch me,” he said softly.

Harry slid his hand from Draco’s mouth to his cheek and gradually turned his face toward his own. “Open your eyes, Baby,” he urged. Draco’s eyes fluttered open and he found himself looking into stormy grey eyes. “Don’t be scared. It’s just us! And we are so good together,” Harry moved as he was talking, so he ended up lying between Draco’s legs, with his arms propped on his forearms. His right hand carded gently through his pale blond locks. Draco kept his eyes open this time, and Harry could see so many emotions swirling there. Too many for him to read. Harry glided his left hand down Draco’s arm and rested it atop his hand, which was still clutching the bedding. 

“God! I love you!” Harry said as he brought their mouths together. Slowly, he brushed their lips together, creating delicate friction. Draco opened his mouth with a needy cry, and Harry stroked his tongue inside. He tightened his fingers in Draco’s hair when his tongue stroked back, and he rocked his hips bringing their hard cocks to rub together. 

Draco let go of the bedcovers and brought one hand up to hold the back of Harry’s neck and the other to press against his lower back. He kissed back furiously as he pulled Harry to him tightly. He broke away from their kiss to gasp, “Harry!” Harry took the opportunity to leave a trail of kisses across his cheek. He stopped to tug his earlobe between his teeth and then began nibbling on that spot behind his ear that never failed to turn Draco to mush. “Harry! Merlin! I . . . I want . . . Merlin, I need you!” Draco groaned. His hand started to frantically push at Harry’s pajamas. 

“I’ve got you! Baby, I’ve got you! It’s ok,” he gave Draco a hard kiss, teasing with his lips and tongue. Harry pulled away from the kiss and sat up, quickly shucking his shirt and pajama bottoms. Then he pulled Draco’s shirt off him while he was still lying there looking stunned. Before Draco could blink, Harry was back in his arms. Harry growled as he felt his husband pressed against him at last. The feeling of skin against skin was exquisite. He rocked his body against Draco’s feeling the rasp of his nipples against Draco’s chest hair, knowing that Draco was feeling the same sensations. 

Draco’s hands came back around Harry and started caressing up and down his back, and then both hands went lower, cupping and squeezing his ass. Harry’s prick was hard and aching, and the feel of Draco’s hands on him as well as rubbing up against Draco’s pajama-clad cock were going to send him over the edge too quickly. “Oh, Baby! I missed you so much,” Harry thrust his body against Draco’s and kissed him passionately. 

Harry pulled away before he could come. He kissed a path down Draco’s chest, stopping at a nipple to lick and suck until he had him crying out. Then he continued kissing and nibbling, following the trail of soft golden hair that led down to the waistband of the pajama pants Draco was still wearing. When he reached the elastic, he licked along the edge purposely avoiding where Draco’s hard prick was almost pushing free.

Draco’s hands had balled into fists in the sheets at his sides. “Please,” he breathed, “Please, Potter!” 

Harry hooked his fingers into the waistband and pulled them down just enough to expose the head of Draco’s cock. The foreskin was pulled back and the head was dark pink and wet with precome. “Perfect,” Harry whispered. He breathed a puff of warm air across the tip and Draco moaned as his prick jerked involuntarily. Harry wet his lips and then darted his tongue out to tease all around the head. Draco twisted the sheets tighter and arched his hips up seeking more friction. Harry rewarded him by sucking the velvety head into his warm mouth and swirling his tongue all around it.  
“Yes! Oh, please! Yes, yes,” Draco started babbling as he writhed beneath Harry. Without lifting his mouth, Harry pulled Draco’s pajamas down and off his legs. He wrapped one hand around Draco’s prick, stroking in time with his mouth and with his other hand he pushed Draco’s legs apart making room for himself between them. He sucked Draco’s cock down until he felt it touch the back of his throat, then he sucked harder as he pulled off. 

He looked down at the sight in front of him. Draco’s red lips were parted and he was panting. His cock was hard and wet, lying against his stomach. His whole body was tense, poised for Harry’s next move. Harry moved up on his knees. He hooked his hands under Draco’s legs and bent his knees, pushing them back and up. He exposed Draco’s balls and hole to his gaze. Draco made a soft whining noise and shifted, causing his ass to wiggle enticingly. “Grab your legs and hold them back,” Harry ordered huskily. Draco complied with another moan and it left Harry’s hands and mouth free to play. 

Harry reached down and gave his own cock a squeeze, willing himself not to come just from the decadent site in front of him. Then he used his hands to spread Draco’s ass cheeks and lowered his mouth. “Harr-aarghh!” Draco cried out at the first touch of Harry’s warm wet tongue. “Aaaah! Aaargh!” he cried out as Harry’s tongue swept across his pucker. “Oh, please! Oh, please!” Draco turned to mindless begging as Harry stiffened his tongue and pushed it inside him. Draco babbled a stream of nonsense as Harry thoroughly fucked him with his tongue. 

Draco whined when Harry lifted his mouth away, but that turned into a groan when he carefully slid a lubed finger in. As he slowly pumped his finger in and out, Harry reached for Draco’s prick. It was practically standing up straight and had been steadily leaking on his stomach. Draco pulled his legs wider apart when Harry pushed in a second finger and leaned down to suck at the head of his cock. “Oh, please! Oh . . . please!” Draco was begging again. Harry loved being able to take him apart like this and growled in his throat, knowing Draco would feel the vibration. 

Harry started rapidly bobbing his head up and down and sucking hard, loving the velvet feel of Draco’s prick against his tongue. He crooked his fingers and found Draco’s prostate. Draco thrust his hips up wildly and Harry pulled back enough not to choke. When he massaged Draco’s prostate again, Harry was ready for it and held Draco’s hips down. Draco gasped and cried out, shooting his release down Harry’s throat. As he was still swallowing, Harry pulled away and rose up on his knees and wrapped his lubed hand around his own cock. With just three hard tugs he was coming all over Draco’s cock and stomach. 

Blissed out and boneless, Harry collapsed next to Draco and pulled his sweaty, sticky body into his arms. Before he lost consciousness, Harry cast a cleaning charm and levitated the blankets back over them. His last thought was how incredibly perfect it felt to have Draco back in his arms again.


	12. Chapter 12

Boom! Harry had just walked into a trap. Here he was trapped in a windowless, doorless room, in a house filled with dark magic. Who knew if the other Aurors would be able to free him? He had tried every spell and charm he could think of, but nothing had made any change to his predicament. He should never have accepted this assignment, knowing his concentration would be shit today after the confrontation this morning.

He and Draco had fallen into an unhappy pattern after the night he had snuck into Harry’s room. During the day, Draco was friendly but he shied away from any physical contact. Harry had returned to work and Draco had stayed home with Atria Lily. He was a loving caregiver to their daughter and lavished hugs and kisses on her but none for her daddy. Then, each night after Harry had settled into bed, Draco would come and get into his bed. They would make love passionately, and many times Harry would blurt out his love for Draco. But every morning when he woke up, Draco would be gone and his side of the bed was cold.

Harry had tried talking to him about it. He tried during the day, but Draco would stiffen up and change the subject or walk out of the room. He had tried once at night, but Draco had gotten up and left the room and not returned that night. So Harry had stopped pushing it, thinking that at least he was getting part of Draco having him in his arms at night. But this situation was slowly tearing him apart. 

The room seemed to be getting warmer and Harry was getting lightheaded. Was it possible that this room was airtight? Was Harry slowly losing oxygen? He made a sob and clenched his hands. He wasn’t going to be able to tell Draco that he didn’t mean what he had said this morning! He wasn’t going to be able to take it back, and he was going to die. He had said a lot of awful things he regretted.

Draco had been in the kitchen making tea and fussing with their Muggle toaster, in a way that never failed to make Harry laugh. Except it didn’t this morning. Harry had woken up again alone, bed empty, and tears had filled his eyes. Was this his life now? This half empty existence. He had wearily walked downstairs to the kitchen, and found Draco there, fully dressed, making breakfast. 

Harry was too hopeless to temper his words, “Are you even the same man who was in my bed last night?” 

Draco stiffened his shoulders and turned away from Harry, “What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the man who was moaning and crying out my name. The man who was pushing himself onto my fingers and begging me to make him come!” Harry argued. Harry swiped angrily at his eyes that were filling with tears again.

Draco’s face turned bright red and he turned and started to rush from the room. Harry swiftly moved to block him and grabbed his arm. “No, you need to stay here and talk to me!” Harry demanded.

“What’s there to talk about, Potter?” Draco asked, still trying to push by Harry.

Harry exploded, “How about the fact that you’re a whore in my bed every night, but won’t let me touch you the next day!” Draco flinched and paled, but Harry was too consumed by his anger to care. “How about the fact that you sneak out of my bed every night? Or the fact that when I tell you I love you, you never respond,”Harry's voice broke with the last sentence. “Draco, I can’t take this,” he whispered brokenly. Realizing he was still gripping Draco’s arm, he let go.

Draco stood there, his face a frozen mask. “What are you saying, Potter?” he asked coldly.

“I can’t have a husband who won’t . . . who doesn’t want to be with me,” Harry wearily replied. “I think we should . . . separate.” His heart was screaming at him to stop talking, but his mouth continued, “We can share custody of Al.” 

“I knew this would happen, of course,” Draco said icily. “So much for the undying love of Gryffindors,” he sneered. His grey eyes flicked over Harry’s tear-stained face, and then he turned and left the room. 

Harry roughly scrubbed the tears from his face. Wait, what had just happened? Had he really said that? He had just been trying to get Draco to talk to him. He knew he should go and apologize right now, but he was just too heart sore. He planned to talk to Draco when he got home that night.   
Now Harry was stuck in this fucking trap and he would never be able to make it right with Draco. Harry cast another “Lumos” to check and see if anything had changed, but it hadn’t. He shouldn’t have given up. He should have fought for their love. All of the amazing moments of their lives kept replaying in his head. Harry was too drained to cry anymore, otherwise, he would be bawling. Instead, he slumped against a wall and waited for either salvation or damnation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to be MIA for so long and then post such a sad and short chapter. The next chapter is already written and I promise to post it on Monday. Sorry to fuck around with everyone’s emotions, if it helps any – I made myself cry when I wrote this chapter. Next one gets better, I’m still promising a happy ending! C-


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter, as promised ;)

Harry assessed the situation before he opened his eyes. He was lying in a bed, with stiff sheets. He could hear the sounds of magic humming around him, and could smell the distinct scent of “Scourgify” and lavender that always seemed to permeate St. Mungo's. He slowly opened his eyes and found Draco slumped, asleep in a chair next to his hospital bed. He looked a mess. His face which he normally kept clean-shaven, was rough with at least two days of stubble. His hair was lank and disheveled. And there were deep purple circles under his eyes. 

Draco’s right hand was resting on top of the bed. Harry moved his hand to cover his and groaned at the pain that shot through his body. Draco was instantly awake. Blinking his eyes at Harry, while he used his right hand to push the hair out of his eyes. “Harry?” he voice sounded rough and unused. Harry tried to push himself up, but groaned again instead and fell back on the bed. Draco rushed over and rested his hands on Harry’s shoulders, “You shouldn’t try to move.”

Harry looked up at Draco and tried to speak, but it came out as more of a croak, “d, di . . . didn’t.” Harry’s throat was so dry, he wanted to tell Draco how sorry he was, and that he didn’t mean what he had said, but nothing would come out. His movements must have set off a monitoring charm because a heard of Healers and Nurses swarmed into his room and Draco was pushed away from Harry’s side. Multiple spells were cast and potions were poured down his throat. 

In the midst of all this, Ron and Hermione rushed into the room. “Harry!” Hermione cried, running to his side. She was about to throw herself onto his chest when Ron grabbed the back of her shirt and hauled her backward. 

“Oi, Hermione! He just had a house fall on him! You can’t just grab him!” Ron softened his harsh words by wrapping his arms around his wife. 

“Oh, God! I’m sorry!” Hermione covered her face with her hands. She pulled her hands away and gave Harry a stricken look, “Harry …” 

“Wilcox?” Ron addressed the head Healer, “How is he doing?”

“Just give us another minute. He just regained consciousness,” Healer Wilcox, waved vaguely over to the side of the room where Draco was waiting with his arms wrapped tightly around himself. 

Hermione and Ron went to wait over with Draco and Hermione immediately hugged him, not letting go even when he made no move to hug her back. Draco stood stoically, his eyes never leaving the man lying on the hospital bed. “This is good, Draco. He’s awake. This is good,” she murmured and she tightened her arms around him. 

It took a long time, but the other Healers left and Wilcox called them all back over to Harry. “There was a lot of internal damage. Some of the spells we couldn’t do until he was awake and we could see the extent of the damage. We think we were able to repair everything,” Wilcox said bluntly.

“You think?” Draco interrupted. His lips tightened and his frown deepened. 

“This is not an exact science, as much as we would like it to be, Mr. Malfoy,” the Healer reprimanded. 

“Potter-Malfoy,” Draco muttered, but the healer ignored him to continue his debrief. 

“We think we were able to repair all the damage, but it is going to take some time to know for sure. Mr. Potter’s body will have a lot of work to do too,” Wilcox intoned, talking right over another muttered “Potter-Malfoy”. “Are you able to speak, Mr. Potter?” he turned and asked Harry.

Before Harry could respond, Draco burst out, “It’s Potter-Malfoy! He’s Potter-Malfoy! I’m Potter-Malfoy! We’re both Potter-Malfoy, we’re married.”

The Healer looked taken aback, whether by the outburst or his patient’s marital status it wasn’t clear. “My apologies,” he said smoothly. “Are you able to speak, Mr. Potter-Malfoy?” 

Harry cleared his voice. “Yeah, I think so,” it came out as a rough whisper but he could speak.

“How are you feeling?” Wilcox asked.

“Sore all over. Everything hurts,” Harry whispered. 

“That’s to be expected. The pain potion we gave you should be helping soon,” the Healer said confidently.

“What happened?” Harry asked, looking from person to person.

It was Ron who spoke up, “When we finally broke through the trap, it set off a secondary curse and the wall and ceiling fell down on you. We had to dig you out of the rubble before we could apparate you here.”

Draco made a small sound in his throat. His arms were wrapped tightly around himself as if he would fly into a million pieces if he didn’t hold it all together. 

“We thought we’d lost you, Mate!” Ron said gruffly. Hermione dashed her hand at the tears on her face. 

“Not that easy to get rid of me,” Harry tried to joke. 

“I’ve got rounds, but let one of the nurses know if the pain worsens,” with that, Wilcox left the room.

“We should go too,” Hermione said, “We kinda dumped the kids at George and Angelina’s when we got the news you were awake. We’ll be back tomorrow.” She leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek. Ron grabbed his hand and gave it a hard squeeze, and then they were also gone. 

With only the two of them remaining, the silence grew pronounced. Draco shifted on his feet and rubbed his arms. 

“I’m . . .”

“Don’t . . .”

They both spoke at once. Harry gave an uncomfortable laugh, “You go first.”

“No, you should,” Draco said quietly. He returned to the chair by the bed and sat down. 

Harr didn’t know how to begin, the weight of all of his emotions was pressing down on him. “I . . . er, I’m so sorry. So sorry, Draco,” his gravelly voice roughened even more with emotion. 

Draco frowned and tensed, leaning forward, “Don’t leave me, Harry.” His voice was barely more than a whisper but filled with desperation. 

“What?” Harry blinked his eyes in confusion. This wasn’t what he had been expecting. 

“Don’t leave,” Draco’s voice got stronger. “I’ll stay with you all night. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“No, no, Draco. I was wrong to ask you,” Draco pulled back as he heard Harry’s words. “It was wrong of me to try and push you into something you weren’t ready for. I’m sorry for the things I said. I was wrong. You don’t need to change.” 

“Are you still planning on separating?” Draco sat very still, his chest hardly rising and falling with his breaths. 

“No, no, no,” Harry rushed. “Unless . . . er, unless you still want to?”

“I – never wanted that,” Draco was still sitting stiffly, “but you don’t want me with you all night?” 

“No. Well . . . I mean, I do . . . but only if you want to . . .” Harry trailed off uncertainly. This was not going how he had imagined while he was trapped. He had pictured himself apologizing to Draco and Draco throwing himself into his arms. Then the two of them would kiss and cuddle. But he didn’t know how to fix things. The silence grew oppressive again. “How long have I been here?” 

Draco’s eyes flickered with emotion, but Harry couldn’t read it. “This is the third day,” he said simply. 

“Have you been here the whole time?” Harry couldn’t help but ask.

“Yes,” Draco’s answer was short, without elaboration. 

Harry desperately wanted to get things back on a positive track between the two of them. “Can . . . I mean, would you . . . er, would you want . . . uh, to, er . . . maybe, uh . . . kiss . . . me?” he managed to get out. Draco looked startled. “I, I . . . I mean if you want to . . . uh, of course,” Harry felt the need to add. 

“You want me to kiss you?” Draco asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah,” Harry breathed, “so much!” Harry nervously wet his lips and looked up to see that Draco was doing the same.

Draco slowly stood and moved next to the bed. He placed his left hand on the mattress next to Harry’s head. “I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered. All Harry could do was nod, then Draco was lowering his head and his warm lips brushed softly across Harry’s. 

Harry wanted to tangle his fingers in the hair at Draco’s nape, but it still hurt too much to move, so he tried to put all of his emotion into kissing Draco back. He parted his lips, and let his tongue dart out to lick Draco’s lower lip. Draco made a soft sound and opened his mouth. Harry pushed his tongue in to rub against his. 

Draco put his other hand down, bracketing Harry’s head and resting all of his weight. He pushed his tongue into Harry’s mouth, tongues sliding and lips clinging as their kiss went on and on.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you can forgive me for not updating sooner. I have not abandoned this story, RL just got in the way. I hope you will enjoy this chapter - it's pure fluff. Harry kind of took over in the middle of the chapter, so I blame it all on him. C-

Early morning light filtered through the curtains and fell on the pale hair of the man lying beside him. Harry had been released yesterday, after a week-long stay at St Mungo’s, and he was finally back in his own bed. The man in his bed was a surprise though. He had been alone when he had fallen asleep. Draco must have come and joined him in the middle of the night. 

Harry lay on his side and examined Draco. He was lying on his side too, facing Harry. His face looked so much younger in his sleep, relaxed and untroubled. His eyelashes fanned against his cheeks and his lips were slightly parted. He had the faintest blond stubble on his cheeks.

The need to touch him was overwhelming and Harry brought his index finger up to tenderly trail along his jaw. It was both soft and rough at the same time. Harry shuffled himself closer on the bed until his face was just inches away, and he could feel the gentle puff of Draco’s breath against his face. A lock of his hair had fallen into Draco’s face. Harry reached over and brushed it back, letting his fingers linger and absently play with the silken strands. Draco’s hair had always captivated his attention. So pale it seemed to glow in the sunlight. He loved it when it was longer as it was now, and he could tangle his fingers in it.

Slowly Draco’s lashes fluttered and sleepy grey eyes were looking back at Harry. He didn’t seem surprised or upset by how close Harry was lying next to him, just cautious. He didn’t pull away, so Harry kept stroking his hair. “Hi,” Harry breathed out.

“Hi,” Draco licked his lips and swallowed hard.

“You’re here,” Harry pointed out. “In my bed.”

“I’m here,” he answered quietly, without elaboration.

“Because you want to be? Or because I’ve pressured you?” Harry tried to clarify.

Draco didn’t answer right away. Instead, he reached over, cupped Harry’s cheek and caressed it with his thumb. “Because I want to.”

Harry slid his hand down from Draco’s hair so that he was cradling Draco’s face. The moment stretched out, both quietly looking at the other. Harry skimmed his thumb down so that it was gently gliding across Draco’s lips. Draco kissed it softly and Harry dragged it down, pulling Draco’s lips apart. Harry was tempted to kiss him right then, but he knew they needed to talk some more and that would never happen if they started kissing now. 

“What . . . um . . . what changed? I mean . . . why you didn’t want to stay before?” he finally asked. Draco pulled away and flopped onto his back. Harry knew he was fucking this up and he was afraid of scaring Draco off, but if he was going to fix things he needed to know what had gone wrong.

“Let’s just call that a failed experiment,” Draco’s voice came out rough and uneven. 

Even though he was tempted to accept this brush off and move on to the kissing plan, Harry knew this was an important moment in trying to repair their marriage. “That’s not good enough, Draco. I think you owe me more of an explanation than that. You didn’t want to stay with me . . . and now you do. What changed?”

Draco threw his arm across his eyes in a pitiful attempt to hide. “Nothing changed, Harry,” he huffed. “I always wanted to stay.” 

Harry knew his mouth had fallen open in confusion, but Draco was still covering his eyes so it didn’t really matter. He sat up and scrubbed both his hands through his hair in frustration. “What the hell, Draco? That makes no sense. You wanted to stay . . . so you left me every night?”

“Yes . . . I wanted nothing more than to stay there with you . . . forever. But I was trying not to become too attached to you.” Draco’s voice deepened and ended with what sounded like a sob. 

“Draco, we have to talk about this,” Harry pulled his arm away from his face and leaned over him. His grey eyes glittering with unshed tears. “You’re not making sense,” Harry said, struggling to understand what he was saying. “We’re married! I love you! Why would you be trying to not get attached to me?”

The tears were now sliding unchecked into his hair, as Draco made no move to wipe them away. “It’s only a matter of time you know,” Draco’s voice was a desperate whisper. 

“What is?” Harry asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

“Look, Harry, one day you are going to look over at me and think to yourself, ‘What the hell am I doing with Draco Malfoy? He’s an arrogant asshole, and I can do much better!’ And then you will remove me from your life. It’s bound to happen sooner or later. I mean I’m a former Death Eater. There’s only one way this ends.” Draco swiped the tears away and closed his eyes. “I was trying to protect myself . . . trying not to fall in love with you,” he said dejectedly, “failed spectacularly at that too.” 

“Draco, you don’t know shit! I’m not going to leave you. I love you!” Harry pulled Draco up to sit next to him on the bed. “You are not that scared boy anymore. You have done so much with your life! You are an amazing, brilliant and caring man!” 

Harry reached out to stroke his cheek, but he flinched away. “But I’m not really him am I? I’m not the one you fell in love with. I don’t remember any of that! I’m the fucked up kid who listened to a homicidal maniac!” Draco looked wildly around the room and started to get out of bed, “I should g-.” 

Draco didn’t get to finish because Harry grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and hauled him backwards. He pushed him down onto his back and then laid on top of him. “No! You’re not going until we talk this out.” Draco gave a halfhearted shove at Harry’s shoulders before closing his eyes and collapsing back onto the pillows. “I’m not leaving you,” Harry gave him a swift kiss before continuing, “Look Draco, I know you’re an arrogant asshole and I love you anyway!” Draco’s eyes flew open but before he could interject, Harry continued, “I’m an asshole sometimes too. And you still love me. I don’t expect you to be perfect, Draco. I’m under no illusions about who I married.” Harry framed Draco’s face with his hands, bracing his elbows on the bed. “We fit, Draco,” he said in a low urgent tone. “Neither one of us is perfect, but we are perfect for each other. We fit!” Harry started sprinkling little kisses all over his face. “So. Let. Me. Love. You . . . And let yourself love me too!”

His body was still tense and stiff, but Draco leaned up and met Harry’s mouth with his own in a slow soft kiss. “I want to,” he said quietly, “you don’t know how much.”

Harry gathered him up in his arms and pulled him into a tight hug. “You need to let go, Draco, and trust me. Trust me not to hurt you,” Harry whispered in his ear. Draco’s arms came around him. His hands bunched up the soft cotton of Harry’s t-shirt and he held him tightly. 

They lay quietly together for a few minutes before Harry had a sudden inspiration, pulled away and sat up quickly. “Draco! Dress nicely and meet me in the back garden in thirty minutes!” Harry hopped out of bed and started moving toward the attached bath.

“What’s going on? What do you ... ?” Draco sat up in confusion. He pushed impatiently at the hair that fell into his face. “What are you doing, Potter?”

“Trust me. OK?” Harry asked with a sweet smile plastered across his face. “Thirty minutes! Back garden!” 

Then he moved into the bathroom and took a quick shower. When he returned to their bedroom Draco was gone, and Harry hoped he was following his instructions. He moved to their closet and dressed carefully, putting on the Muggle suit that Draco had picked out for him to wear the last time he had to make a public speech. With it, he put on the deep green shirt and silver patterned tie that Draco loved to see him in. He spent a few precious seconds trying to comb his hair into submission. 

He quickly peeked into Al’s room and saw that she was sleeping in her crib and Hilly was napping in the rocking chair. Harry spent another minute smiling fondly at the two of them before he raced down the stairs. He went directly to the safe in the study, extracting something and placing it in his pocket. Then he continued his mad dash down the stairs and outside to the back garden. 

He had five minutes to spare, so he used his wand to create an enchanted archway out of the heirloom rose bushes. Some of the petals scattered as he did this, carpeting the lawn underneath the arch. 

One minute to spare. Harry looked toward the house and used one finger to loosen his tie, the tiniest bit. He shoved his hands into his pockets. No doubt “ruining the lines of the suit” but too nervous to care. All of the moisture in his mouth had dried up. What if Draco hated this? What if this was a terrible mistake?

Then it was too late to worry any more. Draco was entering the garden and moving across to where Harry was standing. He was wearing dove grey wizarding robes, edged in pale icy blue. His robes reached mid-calf and underneath he was wearing black Muggle trousers and shoes. 

The soft morning light filtered through the trees and fell on both men. Harry thought Draco had never looked more handsome. “You’re beautiful,” he breathed out before he could think better of it. Then he reached out and twined their fingers together to pull Draco underneath the arch with him. “Thank you,” he said before giving him a tender kiss.

“For what?” Draco said with a bemused expression on his face. 

“For trusting me,” Harry said, before giving Draco another gentle kiss. He slowly pulled back releasing Draco’s lips and dropped to one knee. Still holding his hand, he looked up at the man he loved more than anything. “Draco Luscious Malfoy, will you marry me?” Harry’s heart beat anxiously as he waited for an answer.

Draco’s brow wrinkled and he gave a small frown, “Harry, as you have pointed out many times, we are already married. What are you doing?” Draco tried to use their joined hands to pull Harry up to his feet. 

Harry remained stubbornly on one knee, “And as you have pointed out, many times, you have no memory of it! So . . . Draco . . . will you do me the honor of becoming my husband? Right here. Right now. Just for us!” Harry held his breath, honestly not sure what Draco would do now?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First I want to apologize for how long it has taken me to update. I had my first experience with writer's block. :( Hopefully, this chapter will make up for it. It is pure mush and tooth-rotting fluff, but I kind of needed it. There will be one more chapter after this, and that one will have all of the smut!! ;)
> 
> A huge thank you to all of you have left kudos and such wonderful comments! I appreciate them more than you can know. It is the best gift anyone can give me!  
> C-

Draco looked down at Harry solemnly, the moment stretching out unbearably. The lump in Harry’s throat grew the longer Draco remained silent. Fearful of what he would see in his eyes, Harry lowered his head and stared instead at Draco’s fancy shoes crushing the rose petals. This had been a stupidly impulsive idea. He must have misunderstood Draco earlier when they were in bed. ‘Why the fuck had he done this when things had been going so well,’ Harry berated himself.

Startling Harry, Draco dropped to his knees too. Insecurity and cautious hope were written all over his face as he raised his eyes to look at Draco. Draco twined their fingers together tightly. “Almost from the first moment I met you, Potter, you commanded my attention,” Draco’s voice was soft but steady. “You fascinated me, angered me, frustrated me, irritated me, thwarted me, amused me, haunted me and aroused me! Ask any Slytherin from my year, and I’m sure they’ll tell you that I never shut up about ‘Bloody Potter’.” Draco’s lips quirked up in a wry grin before he continued. “I tried desperately, not to fall in love with you. I was certain you would hurt me. But I failed . . . spectacularly. Honestly, Harry, I can hardly remember a time when I wasn’t in love with you.” 

The relief that began building when Draco started to speak, suddenly came crashing through his body and he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Draco and pulling him into his arms. Without finesse, Harry slammed his mouth against Draco’s. His desperation, yearning, and love all came pouring out in his kiss. He had one hand tangled in Draco’s hair and the other wrapped tightly around his waist, not letting the other man move even an inch away. 

Finally, when the need to breathe could no longer be ignored, Harry lifted his lips and then quickly buried his head against Draco’s neck. Mumbling against his neck, Harry said, “Is that a yes then?” 

“Impatient Gryffindor,” Draco said fondly, “you didn’t let me finish.”

“Arrogant Slytherin, always trying to torture me,” Harry grumbled, sprinkling Draco’s neck with kisses in between his words.

“The thought of falling asleep each night against your heart, and waking each morning in your arms . . .” Draco’s voice became rough and he paused to clear his throat. “You . . . Atria Lily . . . our life together, it’s everything to me! Yes, Harry. Yes, I will marry you!” Draco’s smile was so joyous, Harry felt tears prickling in his eyes. 

A half sob half laugh came out of Harry’s mouth as squeezed Draco tightly, “Thank Merlin!” Relief and happiness shot through every atom of his being. He moved his mouth back to Draco’s and poured all the love he had into his kiss. Sipping and licking and sucking. Lips clinging, tongues searching, they kissed and kissed.   
Draco’s hands stroked Harry’s back and then moved down to cup his ass, then they moved up again grasping and squeezing. When he started roughly drawing Harry’s shirt from his trousers, Harry realized his romantic plan was being derailed. He pulled away from Draco and stood up quickly. Then he reached down and pulled Draco up with him. “Not yet, Sweetheart. We have important business first,” Harry laughed softly.

Seeing Draco looking soft and thoroughly kissed, Harry couldn’t resist leaning in for another quick kiss. Draco’s lips followed his as Harry drew back, and a soft groan fell from his lips. “Hold that thought, Baby,” Harry murmured. He took a step back and swiftly tucked his shirt back in. 

He took a deep breath and took both of Draco’s hands in his, softly running his thumbs across the back of them. “Draco Luscious Malfoy, today I take you for my husband. I believe in you, the person you are and will grow to be, the parents we will be to Al and any other children we may be blessed with, and the family will make together. With my whole heart, I take you as my husband, knowing and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress and let you comfort me, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind, and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live. You are my love and my life, today and always.”

“Damn, Potter!” Draco stared at Harry in awe. “Where . . . where did all that come from?”

Harry sheepishly looked down at the ground. “I may have used our vows from the first time,” he peeked up at Draco to judge his reaction, but Draco was still looking surprised. “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t mean them! I do! All of it!” he rushed to clarify.

“Well you have me at a distinct disadvantage since you have sprung this surprise wedding on me and I do not have the memory of previous vows to fall back on, but I will endeavor to do my best,” Draco’s soft smile took the sting from his words. “Harry James Potter, today I take you as my husband. You have been my rival, my friend, my anguish, my savior, my lover, and my greatest challenge. I may never remember our life before. But most importantly, I know that you are the love of my life and you make me happier than I could ever imagine and more loved than I ever hoped. You have made me a better person, and our love is reflected in the way I live my life. I will dream with you, celebrate with you, and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. I look forward to being parents with you to Atria Lily and any more children we may be lucky enough to have. Our family is everything to me. You are my love and my life, Harry, today and always.” Draco reached up with trembling fingers and brushed the tears from Harry’s cheeks and then from his own. 

“I fucking love you so much, Draco!” Harry said roughly, squeezing his hand tightly. Harry pulled a ring from his pocket. The platinum ring was in the shape of a snake with green eyes. Draco had taken it off when he was in the hospital and Narcissa had given it to Harry for safe keeping. Harry had been worried about rejection, so had held off giving it back to him. He held the ring up, “With this ring, I pledge myself to you, my husband, my heart, my body and my soul,” and slipped it onto Draco’s finger. 

Draco’s smile grew wider and more tears slipped down his cheeks as the ring was placed on his finger. He grasped Harry’s left hand and gently removed his wedding band and held it up, “With this ring, I pledge myself to you, my husband, my heart, my body and my soul,” he repeated, emotion choking his voice. Then he slid the ring back onto Harry’s hand. “I fucking love you too,” he whispered. 

They fell into each other. Lips pressing, tears mingling, fingers tangling, tongues sliding. They broke away laughing and panting for breath. Joy filled the air around them. “How do you want to celebrate?” Harry asked, clutching Draco to him. 

Draco looked away nervously, “This is probably going to sound crazy . . .” his voice trailed off. 

“It won’t!” Harry cupped his cheek and gently turned Draco’s face toward his, “Whatever you want, that’s what I want too.”

“Well . . . I want us to celebrate as a family. I want our baby girl with us,” he tried to look away again, but Harry wouldn’t let him turn his face. 

“Oh, Baby!” Harry placed both of his hands on Draco’s cheeks and held his face tenderly. He rested their foreheads together. “That is perfect! You go get Al and I’ll grab a few more things.” 

While Draco went to get the baby, Harry hurried around to gather the things he thought they would need. When Draco returned with Atria Lily he found a quilt spread out in the dappled shade. The wireless was brought outside and playing some soft music. A small basket of baby toys was on the corner. There was a platter of cheese, crusty bread, sliced apples and grapes all under a stasis charm. And a chilled bottle of champagne rested in a silver ice bucket. 

Harry stood on the edge of the blanket with his eyes dancing and a wide smile. He had thrown off his jacket, shoes, and socks, and had rolled up his shirt sleeves. He looked relaxed and happy. He approached Draco and held out his arms for Al. When he was snuggling his baby, he gestured toward Draco, “You should get comfy too.” Draco smiled back at him and shucked off his robe, socks, and shoes. He followed Harry’s example and rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt. He paused a minute on his left arm, but resolutely continued and revealed the mark, knowing Harry loved him anyway. 

“Come and join us, Mr. Potter-Malfoy,” Harry called from his position sprawled on the quilt with Al lying next to him. Harry scooted back to make room and Draco slipped into the space between him and the baby. Harry wrapped his arms around him and pulled his back against his chest, spooning him. They both stared adoringly at Al as she gurgled and cooed at them. This was how they happily spent their wedding day, playing with their daughter, feeding each other bites of food and drinking champagne. And Harry knew this was truly the happiest day of his life.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo much smut!!! I threw in a little praise kink, just because. It’s a long one, I hope the wait was worth it. ;) I have loved writing this story. Thank you so much to those of you who have followed and commented! It means more to me than you can ever know.

Harry leaned his shoulder against the door jamb, content to watch Draco rocking their daughter to sleep. There was so much happiness inside of him that he thought he just might explode. If he were standing in front of the Mirror of Erised right now, he would see this exact scene reflected back at him. Draco looked up just then and caught his eye. “I love you,” Harry mouthed. Draco rose and laid the sleeping baby down in her crib. 

Without a word he walked over and threaded his fingers through Harry’s. One gentle tug later and Harry was following Draco down the hallway to his bedroom. Or was it back to being theirs, god, he hoped it was back to being theirs!

Once in the bedroom, Draco crowded Harry up against the nearest wall. One hand tight on Harry’s hip and the other on the back of his neck. The moment stretched out as they looked at each other, their breath quickening. Draco leaned in for a kiss but stopped with his mouth a hair’s breadth away from Harry’s lips. He slid the hand at the back of his neck up to tangle possessively in Harry’s hair. “I want you,” Draco whispered roughly. 

“You have me,” Harry gasped, his lips brushing tantalizingly against Draco’s. He slid his arms around his husband and grasped at the soft material of his shirt. “Any way you want,” he panted. He wanted more. More touching, more kissing, more pressure to ease the ache forming between his legs but afraid of scaring him off he was determined to let Draco set their pace. “Whatever you want . . . anything,” he whispered right against Draco’s lips, relishing the silken brush of them touching his own. 

Draco’s hand on his hip turned bruising and he slammed their hips together. Harry whimpered when he felt his hard-on pressing against him, pushing against his own hard and aching cock. Draco’s grey eyes lit up with desire. He tightened his grip on Harry making him gasp and traced his tongue along the inside of Harry’s open mouth. He broke away and rested their foreheads together. Harry closed his eyes against the powerful wave of want and need that swept over him. “I want . . . fuck! I want you inside me!” Draco’s dark voice crashed over Harry, and he moaned with the pleasure it gave him. 

Trying to control the need to slam Draco onto the bed and push into him right that minute, Harry took a deep breath and brought his hands up to cradle Draco’s cheeks. “We don’t have . . . have to go that far,” he panted, “we have time . . . don’t have to rush.” Draco’s hard body pressing against his was making it hard to keep his train of thought. Unable to stop himself, Harry buried his face in Draco’s neck and kissed a path up to his ear. 

“Salazar! Potter!” Draco gasped, “I . . . I want this, want you . . . thought about it for a long time.” As Harry kissed along his neck, Draco thrust his hips and rubbed their dicks together. “Merlin, you have too many clothes on!” Draco pushed his hands between them and started wildly grabbing at Harry’s shirt, buttons flying off as he roughly pulled at the fabric.

“Baby, slow down,” Harry seized Draco’s hands and held his wrists still. “I want to make this good for you.” Draco opened his mouth to object, but Harry walked him backward and pushed him down on the bed. “Scoot up,” Harry followed him down and directed him to move up on the bed. When they were up on the pillows, Harry covered him, letting the weight of his body press Draco down into the soft mattress. Harry spent a few minutes giving into the pleasure of kissing his husband. Tongues dueling, nibbling, sucking his lower lip into his mouth. Harry pulled back to breathe and was pleased with the dazed look in the other man’s eyes. He sat up and straddled Draco’s hips. “Now,” he said as he took hold of Draco’s wrists again, “leave these right here until I tell you to move!” He directed Draco’s hands to hold onto the headboard above his head. 

“Kinky!” Draco smirked, “am I finally seeing the real Potter?” He thrust his hips up and rocked Harry’s ass against his cock. Harry smiled and leaned forward, pressing another kiss against his lips before moving off the bed entirely. “No fun by myself,” Draco complained. “Get back here . . .” his voice trailed off as he watched Harry start to push his shirt off, baring his well-muscled shoulders.

Harry paused to place his wand on the dresser and then removed his shirt. “Someone told me I was overdressed. Thought I would take care of that,” he teased.  
“By all means,” Draco drawled, “please continue.”

Harry had never before in his life given anyone a striptease, but the love and desire on his husband’s face spurred him on. He popped the button and eased open the fly of his trousers. He looked down, slid one hand inside and palmed himself, giving his dick a welcome squeeze. Draco made a high needy groan and drew Harry’s attention back to him. He was laid out in a long line, arching his hips off the bed and his hands were gripping the headboard so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. “Fuck!” Harry growled. Draco looked so delicious like that! Harry hurriedly pushed off his trousers, leaving him in only his tight black boxer briefs. He traced his fingers along the outline of his hard cock, teasing both himself and Draco. Earning him another groan from the man on the bed. 

“Harry!” Draco pleaded. His body twisting restlessly with want.

Running out of patience himself, Harry shoved his pants off. His hard prick sprang up away from his body when it was freed from the confining clothing. He moved toward the bed and crawled next to Draco. He straddled him again but took pains to sit well below the hard outline of Draco’s cock. “You’ve been so good, baby!” he murmured, “you deserve a reward.” He let his heated gaze take in the aroused man underneath him. Draco whimpered involuntarily. “Would you like a reward? Hmm?” Harry asked huskily.

“Fuck!” Draco bit out.

“That’s not an answer, Baby,” Harry smirked. He leaned forward putting his weight on one hand next to Draco’s head. With his other hand, he used his thumb to trace his lips and pull at his bottom lip. “Now, do you want a reward? I’m gonna need a yes or a no on that.”

“Fucker!” Draco muttered, his hands clenching and unclenching on the headboard.

“Hahaha, that’s the plan,” Harry laughed. “Now about my question . . .”

“Yes, bloody Merlin, yes, alright!” Draco shouted back.

“Yes, what, baby?” Harry asked huskily, dropping his mouth until he was barely touching Draco’s mouth. “What is it you want?”

Draco’s eyes looked dazed and his pupils were already blown. He licked his lips, his tongue also touching Harry’s lips. “My reward,” he whispered, “want my reward.”

“So hot!” Harry growled before giving him a deep kiss, plunging his tongue into Draco’s mouth. Harry pulled his mouth away, “So fucking hot!” Harry sat back up and looked approvingly at the man lying underneath him. “Whatever happens, don’t let go until I say so,” he ordered. 

He started by unbuttoning Draco’s shirt, placing tantalizing kisses on every inch of skin as it was revealed. When his shirt was all the way open, Harry went back to his nipples, licking and sucking at them until they were hardened red nubs. Then he turned his cheek so that his evening stubble was brushing against them causing Draco to cry out and rock his hips some more. Harry lifted his head and watched Draco squirm beneath him. 

“You can let go for a minute,” Harry allowed, as he placed his hands over Draco’s and gently pried them from the headboard. He then pulled the sleeves of Draco’s shirt off his arms. He took the time to rub and squeeze the muscles of his arms, releasing the tension. He then took turns with each of his hands massaging them carefully. Draco was still looking dazed but his breathing had slowed and he had stopped rocking his hips. “Do you think you can hold on some more?” Harry asked. Draco took a deep breath and nodded. Harry once again brought his hands up and curled them around the headboard. “Good boy,” Harry whispered, eliciting another groan from Draco.

Harry moved down Draco’s body until he was face to face with his cloth covered prick. He rubbed his face along the hardened length. He grabbed Draco’s hips and forced him to stay still when he tried to push into Harry’s touch. Draco moaned loudly when Harry turned his head, opened his mouth and started sucking on his cock right through the fabric of his trousers. He raised his head and smiled up at Draco, “You look so fucking good!” He released Draco’s hips and unfastened his trousers, dropping kisses along the elastic waistband of his pants and mouthing at the cotton covering his cock.

“Harry,” Draco gasped, “need more!” 

“Lift up then,” Harry directed, as he grasped the waistbands of both the trousers and pants and pulled them down Draco’s legs and then swept them onto the floor. Harry moved to kneel between his long legs, pushing them apart and relishing the sight of Draco spread out before him. His stomach muscles were clenched and a pale golden trail led down to his hard cock. It looked perfect to Harry, longer and thinner than his own, it jutted up eagerly, rosy tip peeking out from the foreskin. Harry ran his hand down Draco’s stomach, feeling the muscles jump beneath his touch. He toyed with the soft hairs, stroking all around but avoiding his hard prick. 

“Harry! Please!” Draco thrust his hips up seeking his touch. 

Harry skimmed his hands down caressing Draco’s inner thighs. Draco whimpered and squirmed in response. He slid his hands behind Draco’s knees and pushed them up and back, exposing all of him to Harry’s gaze. Harry looked back up and got caught in stormy grey eyes. He saw want and desire, but also uncertainty. He was conscious that although he and Draco had had sex hundreds of times, this man lying beneath him, had never done this before. He was determined that Draco would feel nothing but pleasure at his hands. Maintaining eye contact, Harry said softly, “If you want to stop at any time . . . just let me know.” Draco started shaking his head no but Harry continued, “I know this is new for you. It’s ok if you change your mind, baby.” 

“I’m not going to change my mind,” Draco gritted his teeth. “I know what I want.”

“Well, if you do it’s ok,” Harry turned his head and placed a string of gentle kisses on the inside of Draco’s thigh. With his left hand he stroked the smooth muscles of Draco’s abdomen, and with his right he Accio’d the tube of lube from the bedside table. He coated his fingers in the slippery gel and then trailed them down below Draco’s balls. He took his time and caressed the tight pucker over and over until Draco’s hips were moving again and he was making little moans. Harry slid the tip of one finger inside and let out a quiet, “Fuck,” at the smooth heat constricting around his digit. He slid in a little further and waited until Draco relaxed around him. When he did, Harry pulled his finger back and pushed back in, slowly but determinedly. When he checked, Draco had his eyes closed but did not look in pain. 

He wiggled his finger seeking that little sensitive bundle of nerves. When he found it he set up an unhurried but constant rhythm, stroking across Draco’s prostate. He heard a loud, “Aaaaaah!” and looked up to see Draco with his head thrown back and his mouth open in a little O. 

“Like that, baby?” Harry asked huskily as he sped up his strokes. With his free hand he had been stroking Draco’s chest and stomach, but when Draco’s hips started rocking, Harry used that hand to keep him still. 

“Fuck! Harry. Need. Need. Please,” Draco panted. “I need to let go!”

“Baby, you’re doing so well! Be good for me and don’t let go yet,” Harry leaned down and licked the hard leaking tip of Draco’s cock just as he slid a second finger into his ass. Leaving him a writhing moaning mess, thrusting helplessly up into Harry’s touch. The sight of Draco arching underneath him and lost in his pleasure almost made Harry come right then and he barely kept control. 

Harry pulled his fingers free and lifted Draco’s ass to rest against his thighs, tilting it up at a better angle. He used more lube to slick up his aching prick. Locking eyes with him again, Harry used one hand to position his own cock and the other to stroke Draco’s. He placed the tip against Draco and pushed against the resistance, feeling the hot tight channel close around him.

“Ah!” Draco cried out and he pulled his arms from the headboard, gripping Harry’s biceps as the head of his cock popped through the tight ring of muscle. 

Harry stopped pushing and leaned down to give Draco a sloppy kiss, licking into his mouth. While he waited for Draco to relax around him, he continued to stroke his cock and ran his thumb gently over the tip with each pass of his hand. Harry broke their kiss and turned to lick and bite the soft skin behind Draco’s ear. “So good for me. So good,” Harry murmured. 

Draco made a high moan in the back of his throat and tilted his hips to push himself further onto Harry’s prick. Harry took this as his cue and resumed slowly pressing into his husband. When he was fully seated he stopped and rested, placing his weight on his elbows. “You ok, Baby?” he asked, looking into Draco’s eyes.  
“Yeah . . . full . . . burns a little,” he answered. Lowering his head, Harry licked Draco’s nipple. Then he sucked at the nub until Draco was panting again. Draco started rocking his hips, “Merlin! Move, Potter!” Harry gently slid out a bit and then pushed back in, biting down on his lip to keep himself from just slamming back into the tight heat surrounding him. Harry fucked him slowly and steadily.

“Fuck, Draco! You feel so good! Oh, fuck!” Harry pushed in this time more forcefully than he had intended. 

“Yes!” Draco hissed, digging his nails into Harry’s arms where he held on tightly. “Again! Don’t stop,” he ordered, tossing his head back and arching his neck. 

Harry leaned down and sucked on his neck while he gave in to the urge to slam his cock into Draco. “God, Baby, I’m close!” Harry knew this was going to be over much faster than he had wished, but he also knew there was no way he could stop himself from coming inside his husband. He reached down between them and grasped Draco’s cock with a slippery hand, squeezing and stroking him as Draco rocked his ass up to meet Harry’s thrusts. 

“Yes, yes, oh fuck, yes!” Draco screamed out as he came hard all over Harry’s hand. The muscles in his ass clenched repeatedly around Harry as Draco shot all over his hand. This sent Harry tumbling into his own orgasm, waves of sensation flowing over him as he spilled into Draco. 

He gave Draco a tender kiss as he pulled out of him, collapsing on the bed next to him. As they both lay there breathing heavily and a little stunned, Draco’s hand found his and he threaded their fingers together. As they lay there silently, waiting to regain control of their muscles, Harry squeezed his hand and Draco gave him a squeeze in return. 

When he finally felt he could move, Harry cast a cleaning charm over both of them and turned on his side to face Draco. Draco turned to face him too, and Harry reached out and used one finger to tenderly trace the features of his face; his pale eyebrow, his sharp cheekbone, his still pointy nose, the bow of his kiss-swollen lips. Draco reached out a hand to cup Harry’s cheek, gently caressing him with his thumb. “I love you,” Harry whispered, their gazes locked. 

“Forever?” Draco whispered the question.

“Forever,” Harry affirmed. 

Draco stared back for a long moment, never stopping the gentle brush of his thumb on Harry’s cheek. “I never knew,” Draco whispered back. “I never knew I could be this happy.” Harry put his arms around him and gathered Draco close to him. He rolled onto his back, pulling Draco with him so that he was now lying half on top of Harry and against his chest. Draco tilted his head back so that he could look at Harry, “You are my love . . . and my life . . . today and always.” 

“I fucking love you, Draco,” Harry whispered bringing their lips together for a slow deep kiss, filled with love and promises and the future.

The End <3


End file.
